Duty Driven
by heatqueen
Summary: All Setsuna’s ever known is her duty to guard the time gates and save the world, so after Galaxia’s defeat she finds herself struggling to let go of Sailor Pluto and adapt to a normal life. *MINAKO/SETSUNA*
1. Chapter 1

**Duty Driven**

**Summary: All Setsuna's ever known is her duty to guard the time gates and save the world, so after Galaxia's defeat she finds herself struggling to let go of Sailor Pluto and adapt to a normal life.**

**Chapter 1**

Setsuna lay in bed gazing at the ceiling. She should have been asleep hours ago but lately she'd been feeling rather restless, her mind plagued by thoughts and dilemmas which frustrated her to no end. _Why, Kami-sama, _she thought for the hundredth time that night. _Why me?_

_I'm sick of this._

She didn't admit it to the outer senshi and Hotaru, and certainly didn't say anything to the inners. There was nothing they would be able to say to make it better. She knew it was something she would have to figure out on her own, something only she could possibly understand. She, after all, was the only one who'd stood for thousands of years at the gates of time fulfilling a duty that no one should ever have to be burdened with.

By now the feeling of loneliness was well acquainted with her. It had been hard at first, but as the years had gone by she'd learned to deal with it and had accept it as how her life would be for years to come. It was over now, but the loneliness didn't just disappear.

Setsuna felt out of place in this world. While she knew the outers accepted her like family, she felt like an extra, only there because she had nowhere else to be and this place made the most sense. Having spent so long fulfilling a duty, she found it difficult to adapt to living normally, and was constantly on high alert and very reserved about her emotions. It was a necessary trait of a guardian of the time gate: duty was everything, regardless of feelings. Setsuna hadn't been free to feel for a long time.

She didn't laugh much, didn't cry much. Her expression was stoic for the most part and often appeared far-off like she was thinking hard about something. Every twitch of the corners of her mouth, every chuckle, every frown, felt abnormal, like it wasn't her place to be doing such things. For many years, it hadn't been, and that was hard to shake off.

Now that Galaxia was defeated she didn't even have a duty on Earth, and it seemed as though people just expected her to get on with her life like an ordinary person. Truthfully she felt like a fish out of water, a foreigner in a new country trying to find her way down a long and winding road. She was so used to having a duty, so used to having something to protect, that now it was all over she felt like there was a void in her life which she wasn't able to fill.

It was three o'clock in the morning and she still hadn't slept. While on duty she'd never gotten much sleep anyway so it didn't come easily. As the restlessness finally got to her, she got out of bed and transformed. As Sailor Pluto, she felt more like herself because it was who she was used to being. Opening the window, she jumped out making a graceful landing, then ran.

She didn't know how long she ran for but the feeling of running was liberating. In a way she could relate to Haruka who also ran, albeit for an altogether different reason. The running made her feel better, like there hope out there for her. When she finally stopped she found herself outside the arcade where the inners always hung out.

_Arcades are for ordinary people, _she mused, _people who don't have to grow up fast and worry about saving the world._

Pluto had never been to an arcade, always claiming that she had better things to do than waste time and money playing games. Secretly she was a little jealous. People who played arcade games knew how to have fun. She, on the other hand, was too boring, too serious, and too duty driven.

It was something she used to be okay with, back when she actually had a duty.

_But I don't now, _she thought. _The world is safe and I'm free. And yet, I feel suffocated._

She ascended onto the roof and looked down at the city, something she'd started doing a few weeks ago when she found herself too wide awake to sleep. The city was beautiful and peaceful and everyone was safe and happy, just as they should be. News reports had become inexplicably dull and not once since Galaxia's defeat had there been any mention of the Sailor Senshi. Pluto guessed that she was the only one that still bothered to transform. She was the only one with any reason to. For the rest, being normal again was easy, but she'd been Pluto for so many years that becoming Setsuna again was proving difficult.

"Setsuna-san?"

Pluto froze in surprise, not having expected anyone else to be up here. Turning around, she saw another girl in a Sailor fuku, with long, blonde hair.

"Venus-san," she acknowledge the other senshi, though she was slightly annoyed at her peace being disturbed.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who can't sleep," Venus commented, approaching Pluto and sitting down on the roof, her legs dangling off the edge.

"Indeed." Pluto remained standing.

There was a short, slightly awkward, silence.

"It's too quiet," Venus sighed. Pluto nodded in agreement. "Like, I need some drama in my life or something."

"I really don't." Pluto was getting annoyed now. She wanted to be left alone to think, but now Venus was bugging her about how boring her life was. Wonderful.

"You don't?" Venus sounded confused. "I mean, I'm finding it really weird that it's so peaceful. I'm used to action after the whole Galaxia thing, but you sound like you embraced the peace really easily."

"That's not what I meant," Pluto replied through gritted teeth. She didn't want drama, but that wasn't because she liked the peace. She didn't want drama because when one had a duty, that duty came before any life dramas - family issues, love issues, career issues all came second to duty, and duty came second to none.

"Oh…sorry."

Pluto shook her head, feeling bad for having snapped at the girl. Venus had only tried to be friendly. _Goes to show how long I spent a the time gates - I can't even have a casual conversation with a friend._

"I should have realized I wasn't the only one struggling to adapt," she admitted. The others might not have spent thousands of years at a time gate, but they had hardly had ordinary lives either. They'd been thrown into the roles of warriors against their own choosing, and forced to lead secret double lives where they had to save the world several times, and after several years they'd had to give it all up and suddenly start being normal again. It was enough to throw anyone off the rail.

"It's really weird," said Venus. "Like, I keep expecting an enemy to show up that I have to defeat and when nothing happens by the end of the day I think how boringly ordinary my life has become."

Ordinary was something Pluto had never been, something she knew she never would be.

"It is strange," she said, "but not the same for me. I've had a duty as long as I can remember so I'm not going back to anything."

"So you're like…starting over?"

"In a sense, yes."

"That must be hard."

Never the type to admit that something was hard, Pluto didn't reply. In her opinion, when something was hard, she dealt with it. She didn't whine about it, didn't ask for help, but simply handled it by herself. This situation was to be no different from any other. She could handle this, the strangeness of being normal.

"No need to be distant, Pluto, you're not invincible. No one is. I hate to break it to you but some matters are too big for anyone to deal with alone."

Pluto had never considered a problem being too large for her to handle. As for the alone part, well that had been the case for so many years that why should it have to change now?

"I'm handling it fine," she replied.

"Yeah I can tell by the fact that you're sitting on the roof of the arcade rather than sleeping," said Venus.

Pluto sighed with frustration. "It helps me think."

"Something you do all day anyway seeing as you don't exactly talk much. Come on, Pluto, admit that you're struggling."

"I'm not struggling," Pluto replied defensively, even though she knew it was a lie. The truth was she was struggling harder than ever. Her emotions were proving more difficult to deal with than any problem she'd come across at the time gates. Monsters could simply be killed. Emotions, on the other hand, were always there, always lingering even when she tried to force them aside and ignore them, or quell them into nothing by insisting that nothing was the matter.

"Funny, you just said you were struggling to adapt a minute ago. Why else would you be standing transformed on a roof?"

"To admire the view."

"You are a rubbish liar."

"And you are extremely blunt," Pluto retorted.

"Look," said Venus, "I'm not going to bug you about it because obviously you're not telling. But I will tell you that eventually you'll have bottled up so much emotion that it will all come pouring out like a popped bottle of champagne, and the result won't be pretty. Which means either way I'll find out eventually."

"Whatever you say."

"Well I'm off now. Might actually try and sleep for a change. But if you ever feel like talking, give me a buzz," Venus said with a smile, before turning around and hopping onto the next rooftop before disappearing out of sight.

Pluto breathed a sigh of relief that the interrogation was over. She remained on the roof a while longer lost deep in her thoughts and gazing at the scenery around her. Then, as she realized the sun was beginning to rise, she descended from the roof and made her way back home, where she attempted sleep once again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Everyone else had someone. Haruka's closest confidante was Michiru, and vice versa. Chibiusa and Hotaru were the best of friends and the two of them were thick as thieves. Makoto had recently formed a relationship with Ami and they were going steady. Usagi had Mamoru and Minako and Rei, the only single ones, always had each other's back.

Then there was Setsuna, who simply didn't do confidantes. Her time of loneliness meant she'd never had the chance to get particularly close to anyone. This carried through to her now normal life - even though she now had the opportunity, she still didn't open up to anyone, not even Haruka and Michiru. She was too used to being self-dependent and solving her own problems by herself.

That said she'd never needed to have problems. With so much time spent at the time gates, she didn't have time to be involved enough in normal life to have problems. The idea of now having such problems was strange and unsettling.

She knew what the others thought - that she now must be really glad to be able to embrace a normal life, and how great was it that she never had to be lonely again. She let them believe this. She knew that she should be happy about it - after all, it's what she'd desired for so many years, right? It was weird, but now that she had it she wasn't sure she liked it.

Just two hours after she'd finally gone to bed, her alarm rung. She was so tired that at first she thought she'd dreamt the alarm. Then, as she was slowly drawn back to the waking world, she realized that it really had gone off. Shutting it off, she racked her brains as to why she'd set the alarm on a Sunday. Opening her eyes, she glanced at the calendar.

_Michiru's concert. Now I remember._

Climbing out of bed, she rubbed sleep from her eyes and got dressed. Always known for being prompt, she knew it would look strange if she rose late due to tiredness. In the next room she could hear the voices of Haruka and Michiru helping the violinist into her concert dress. Michiru had a whole wardrobe of them, lots of different ones so she would never look the same twice in a row.

The concert was due to start at ten in the morning and end at one - then there was another performance at six in the evening, until nine. Setsuna had agreed to go to the morning one because she had to bring Hotaru with her, and Hotaru had school the next day and couldn't be up too late.

When Setsuna went downstairs, Hotaru was already there, dressed in smart-casual wear that consisted mainly of her favourite colour, black. Setsuna, on the other hand, was wearing a simple white blouse and a skirt, and shoes with a modest heel, as she usually did.

They were riding separately from Haruka and Michiru, who needed extra time to prepare and would arrive discreetly, away from crowds of fans who all wanted to get a good nosey. When they'd both had breakfast, they left in Setsuna's car and arrived at the venue with half an hour to spare. Being friends of the violinist, they both had front row tickets, and made their way into the auditorium to sit down.

There were so many people there, so many excited voices talking about the upcoming performance. Until Galaxia's defeat Setsuna had never had anything to be excited about or to look forward to. Going to a performance simply because she was free to have that luxury, and because she'd been asked to go by a friend, was something that had never happened to her before. It was a thing that, until now, had belonged to other people, _ordinary_ people - not her.

_It's mine now, _Setsuna thought. _Mine._

Nothing had ever been hers before.

Just before the concert started, Haruka slipped into the empty seat next to Setsuna. Then, the lights dimmed apart from the light on the stage, and Michiru stepped onto the stage in a beautiful, knee length red dress lined with sequins and looking very expensive. As the music started, Setsuna sat back and tried to let it wash over her, but found herself concentrating on every note, trying in vain to find a meaning behind it.

_What is music but a series of pitches, _she thought. _Why is there supposed beauty within a set of frequencies, where is emotion within the sounds? What is its purpose, why does it exist? What is the point? Why can't I feel it? Why do I hear the notes but not the music?_

_***_

"Michiru-chan." Setsuna poked her head around the door of the backstage room where Michiru was packing away her violin. "Congratulations. It was an excellent performance." It was always excellent but she knew Michiru appreciated the compliment.

Michiru smiled. "Thank you. Though I don't think it was one of my better ones."

"To be frank, I really cannot tell the difference. It all sounds good to me."

"I suppose being a musician and knowing a lot about music makes me self-critical about my performances."

"Why do you play?"

The question was sudden, abrupt. Michiru's eyes rose to meet Setsuna's garnet ones and she looked confused by the strange question.

"It makes me feel alive," Michiru replied. "It's what I love most, what I couldn't live without. It brings happiness to me and everyone around me. Why do you ask?"

"No reason."

But Setsuna still didn't understand. She'd never known the thrill of having such a strong passion for something and didn't see how hours of violin practice could make Michiru feel 'alive'. What was alive, anyway? Alive was having a heartbeat and breathing. That was alive, so how did violin playing make Michiru feel alive?

There was another knock on the door and both Haruka and Hotaru entered. As the four of them made to leave the auditorium, Setsuna pushed her thoughts of the music aside and concentrated on driving back home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_This is my life, _Pluto thought as she gazed down at the city from the arcade's rooftop. _This is my life - it is where I am living and breathing. It is where my friends and family are._

_What is life really? What does it mean to be alive? Why do we live - what is the point? I used to save lives - for what? So they would die at a later date?_

_What is passion, the thing that makes Michiru feel alive? What is it that makes her want to continue living, and brings her such happiness that she would be broken without it?_

_In the end, my life is just a routine. Get up, eat, talk to people, go out occasionally, and attempt to sleep. There is no purpose here - eating and sleeping merely keep my physical anatomy functioning. We all die eventually, so why do we bother to live?_

"Hello again." It was Venus.

"Hi," Pluto replied.

"So what brings you here this fine evening?"

Pluto shrugged. Life brought her here. Unanswered questions, scattered thoughts. A sense of displacement, a dead end, a lost path. Not that Venus would understand. She had her place in this world. Pluto didn't.

"Nothing really. What about you? Why are you here?"

"Let's just say I had a feeling you would be here."

Pluto raised an eyebrow. _Wow, she almost sounds as mysterious as me, _she mused.

Venus must have noticed Pluto's confusion. "Come on, I'm the senshi of love. Emotions is my thing. Of course I knew you would be here. Your emotions these days haven't exactly been cheerful."

"You've been reading my emotions?" _Why would she bother to do that?_

"Not specifically, though I must say I do have a certain instinct about you," Venus replied. "I mean, I can read everyone to some degree, but for some reason I can do you so much better than the others. I don't know why. I just woke up in the middle of the night and felt like I had to come here. So here I am. Get it?"

_Not really, _Pluto thought, but nodded anyway.

"Venus-san, what is your passion?" she asked.

"Well, my main passion is singing since it's the only thing I'm good at and I love doing it. Why do you ask?"

"No reason."

"Tell me, Pluto-san, why is it always 'no reason' with you? Like, is that actually your cover for everything? I said it before and I'll say it again - you really are a crappy liar. And I say this because the Pluto that I know doesn't do things for 'no reason'. And don't look at me like that because you know I'm right," Venus added as Pluto gave her the evils.

Venus was right, however. As a time guardian, Pluto's decisions and choices had never been for no reason. At the time gates it had always been about the greater good of the world, and making sure the fabrics of time unfolded in the right way which led to the right future of Crystal Tokyo. Even when she'd come to Earth, she'd retained her purposeful manner, always opting for productivity over anything else - including fun, friendship, passion, love and life.

"You're right, I don't," she replied. "I don't have time to waste standing on rooftops. I should go."

She jumped off the building, leaving Venus standing alone and feeling rejected. When she was out of sight, she ran and ran, venting out all her confusion and mixed up emotions, all the agony of her years and years of loneliness, all the strangeness about suddenly being expected to live normally, and only stopped when she realized she'd run so far and so fast that she thought she was about to faint.

Tiredly, she dropped onto her knees. _I really ought to remember that I'm not Haruka, _she thought as she heaved deep breaths.

She felt strangely empty, like her emotions had been sucked out of her. However, she didn't feel any clearer about her situation. Her mind felt like fog, like there was an answer in there somewhere that was beyond her reach.

"Idiot, don't run away from me."

"Venus-san!" Pluto looked up in surprise. Venus had _followed _her. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I mean, doesn't that just completely kill the 'no reason' cover up story?"

Pluto groaned with frustration. Did Venus have to win every single time?

"Don't follow me, Venus," she said in a low, angry voice. She stood up - too quickly for that matter - and swayed as her balance wavered. Steadying herself on the side of a building, she faced Venus.

"Setsuna-san, I'm serious," Venus said in a concerned voice. Pluto noted the use of her civilian name. "Go home. You look like death and you can't have slept much lately."

"I'm fine," Pluto countered and proceeded to run again - however, she'd barely gone past fifty metres before she stumbled and buckled over with her hands on her knees, gasping for breath. Annoyed, she realized she'd pushed herself too far. She wasn't a marathon runner and her body couldn't take any more strain. Not to mention, she'd now missed two nights of sleep. _Shit, _she thought as she imagined the interrogation she was going to get from Venus.

"Pluto-san!" Venus ran up to her side. "Seriously, just let me take you home. You're in no state to be running."

"Venus…"

Then she collapsed.

It was only several seconds, but when she came round she found herself untransformed and being carried in Venus's arms. As she realized what had happened, she struggled to get free but the blonde senshi was moving too fast and Setsuna didn't feel like falling off any rooftops tonight.

"Venus put me down," she complained but Venus ignored her, scaling the buildings until they arrived outside the house of the outer senshi. Only then did Venus allow her back on her feet.

Setsuna then realized that she really did appreciate what Venus had done for her. Despite the fact that she appeared very imposing, and asked too many questions, and wouldn't keep a distance, it was clear that Venus really cared about her, and she decided that perhaps she ought to lighten up where the senshi of love was concerned.

"Thanks," she said.

"'Salright," Venus replied. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. But if it makes you feel better I won't tell the others."

"Why not?" Setsuna asked, surprised but somewhat relieved at the statement.

"Because then the others would start asking what the heck I was doing on rooftops in the first place and I'd have to admit to them that I -" Venus gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes suddenly looking frightened.

"That you what?" Setsuna prompted.

"Sorry - I almost said too much," Venus stammered.

"Well I won't push you then." That would be hypocritical, given that Setsuna had hated it when Venus had tried to push her for information.

Venus hugged her. Taken by surprise, she hesitantly returned the embrace. She'd never been on particularly close terms with any of the inner senshi, but it was as if this gesture meant a special bond had formed between them. It wasn't quite friendship - Setsuna couldn't see herself suddenly becoming chummy with the girl - but it was more like she knew Venus would be there for her if she needed her.

"Right, I've gotta go," said Venus. "Go to bed. _Please, _Setsuna." Setsuna nodded. "Okay, goodnight then."

"Goodnight, Venus."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_(Michiru's POV)_

Michiru had just given Hotaru her breakfast when the doorbell rang. Wondering who it was at this early hour of the morning, she went to get it.

"Ohayo, Michiru-san," beamed Minako. This was echoed by another voice and Michiru looked down to see Chibiusa smiling up at her.

"Hi, guys. What can I do for you?""I was hoping to see Hotaru before school," said Chibiusa. "And maybe Puu. It's been a while. Minako offered to take me."

"Okay," said Michiru. "Hotaru's just having breakfast. Do you want to come in?"

She led the two girls into the kitchen where Chibiusa was, like usual, quick to embrace her best friend and start talking animatedly about things. Then she paused as she wondered where Setsuna was, and realized the time senshi would have normally been up by now. Frowning, she made her way upstairs to Setsuna's bedroom and knocked on the door.

"Setsuna," she said, "you have visitors."

***

_(Setsuna's POV)_

There was knocking, somewhere in the distance, and a voice talking. The voice was calling her name, asking for her to come out. As she slowly awakened, she realized the knocking was on her bedroom door and the voice belonged to Michiru.

"Setsuna, you have visitors."

_**KAMI!!!**_

She shot upright thinking that she should have been woken up by her alarm. With everything that had been going on, she realized she'd forgotten to set it.

"I'm coming," she replied, and hastily found some clothes to put on, doing the speed-change thing that meant she got dressed very quickly. Giving her hair a quick brush, she went downstairs hoping she didn't look like she'd only just gotten out of bed.

In the kitchen was Hotaru and Michiru, accompanied by Minako and Chibiusa. The corners of Setsuna's mouth twitched as she realized what Minako had done - she'd used Chibiusa as an excuse to come over and make sure she was okay.

"Ohayo," she greeted the room.

"Puuuuuu!" Chibiusa squealed, bounding over and practically leaping on top of her. Setsuna couldn't help but chuckle at the small girl's affections. Then Chibiusa looked up at her and her expression changed to an odd one.

"Geez, someone didn't brush their hair this morning," she commented.

_Damn, so much for speed-changing._

"How are you doing, small lady?" Setsuna asked, deciding to ignore the comment about her hair and smiling fondly at the girl.

Children were so pure and innocent, she thought. They didn't have to worry about important things and could rely on their parents to take responsibility for them. They could live their lives with nothing but fun and happiness and be blissfully unaware of the darker side of life they would see when they were older.

Setsuna couldn't remember having such a childhood. From a very early age, she'd had to take responsibility for herself and face an inevitability far darker than any child should have to burden. No child should ever be left alone, but her duty meant she'd had no choice but to be parted from her parents and thrust into the lonely world of the time gates.

When she was a kid she used to cry about it, knowing she was different from everyone else and that it wasn't fair. After all, why should she, of all people, be the one forced to live that kind of life? As she grew older and wiser, she stopped crying and grew to accept her fate. She learned to live with the loneliness and grew so used to it that it felt strange to be in the presence of company.

This was partly why she was struggling so hard to adapt to normality. For her, loneliness _was _the normality. To suddenly have all these people surrounding her and looking out for her felt intrusive and she found herself keeping everyone at a distance - with the two girls in front of her, Minako and Chibiusa, an exception.

As Chibiusa started chatting to her, Setsuna glanced at Minako, who had a questioning expression on her face. Knowing exactly what the blonde was asking, Setsuna nodded slightly. _Yes I'm fine, _she thought. _No need to worry so much. _Minako sent her a relieved smile. Setsuna felt a little warm - though she found it strange, it was nice to have someone who was happy to know you were okay.

"Puu, can you take me and Hotaru to the park after school today? Pleeeease?" Chibiusa looked at her pleadingly and Setsuna found herself unable to disagree.

"Yes, I have some free time to do that," she replied. "Are you and Haruka going to join me?" she asked Michiru.

"Of course," said Michiru. "The weather's really nice at the moment; we might as well."

"Yaaay!" Chibiusa squealed in delight.

"Chibiusa we have to go," said Minako. " We're going to be late if we linger any longer. It was nice to see you guys." This last bit was directed at both Michiru and Setsuna, but Minako was looking at Setsuna when she said it.

"It was nice to see you to. Er - do you want to come with us later?"Setsuna wasn't sure where the question had come from - it had suddenly slipped out her mouth, as if on instinct.

"Maybe, if I don't have too much homework," said Minako.

***

The Outers stood at the side of the park as they watched Hotaru and Chibiusa play together on the swings. It was a beautiful day with perfect weather, the sky dotted with the occasional cloud and the sun smiling down on them. Cherry blossoms bloomed everywhere, the occasional pink leaf dropping off and floating to the ground. From all around came the sounds of people's laughter and happiness.

There wasn't a dark cloud to be seen, except from right next to where Michiru was standing.

Setsuna was frowning. She stood stiff and straight, her face frozen in thoughtfulness, her hand grasping the railing behind her. Her eyes followed Hotaru and Chibiusa as they moved around, but other than that, she may as well have been a statue.

She was frowning about Minako. Somehow she was confused by her - or rather, the way the blonde made her feel. While she'd at first been irritated by the younger girl, suddenly she found herself feeling more and more appreciative of her. She realized that when she'd invited the girl to come with them, the invitation had been accompanied by a sudden feeling of desire. Those weren't just polite words - she really did want Minako to be there.

"What are you frowning about?" Michiru inquired, concerned for her friend.

Setsuna blinked and snapped out of her trance, realizing her eyes had been scanning the park for any signs of Minako arriving.

"I'm not frowning," she said defensively.

She never used to desire company because she'd quashed that feeling out of her long ago, knowing that idea of having company would only ever be a fantasy. She'd forced herself to become content in her own company because it was all she would ever get for many, many years. Since her and Venus's rooftop conversations, she could feel something inside herself starting to change, and she found her most content and peaceful moments were in the presents of the love senshi.

She also found that her feelings were conflicting, as the Sailor Pluto within her told her that such things as company were mundane, and she should just forget about them. She had to operate alone because making bonds only made you vulnerable if the people you bonded with became threatened. Then she reminded herself that there was no danger out there anymore - she was free to make ties without worrying about consequences. But what if a new enemy arose? What would she do then?

_Don't be ridiculous, _she thought. _Galaxia is dead. There is no enemy now._

But even she, the time senshi, could never say that for sure. There was always something out there with a motive, something that wanted to destroy the world for whatever reason. There was probably another enemy out there right now, biding its time, waiting to strike. If Setsuna formed a friendship with Minako, then an enemy decided to strike and Minako was hurt, Setsuna would also end up hurt and not to mention wracked with guilt. How would she be able to fight then?

And yet she couldn't stop herself from wanting to be closer to the other girl. Something in her mind was screaming for her to forget practicality and responsibility, and just go for it. She drove the thought away. She was never one for taking risks and wasn't about to start.

As it happens, Minako didn't show at the park that day and Setsuna went home with a sinking feeling in her stomach. She probably wouldn't be able to get that close to her anyway. Minako already had her own circle of friends that didn't include her in it. As they pulled into the driveway, Chibiusa having already been dropped off, she sighed as she wondered what was in store for her late night roof-hopping tonight. Perhaps then she would see Minako.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Setsuna didn't even bother to go to bed, but shut herself in her room until she was sure the others had gone to sleep. Going through her usual routine of transforming and leaving through the window, she roof hopped until she arrived at the roof of the arcade.

She could have chosen to avoid this roof top, knowing that Venus would go there looking for her, and two days ago she had thought of doing just that. However, now she very deliberately went to that exact roof for exactly the opposite reason as why she'd wanted to avoid it. She didn't want to avoid Venus - she wanted to see her.

"You didn't even try sleeping, did you?"

Venus was already there, transformed, looking as if she knew something Pluto didn't. Pluto considered the irony. Being mysterious was her job, but she was finding the senshi of love as mysterious as ever. She wondered how Venus could possibly tell if she'd tried to sleep or not.

"I already told you I read you better than the others," Venus explained. "To be honest I didn't expect you to be here. Your emotions aren't nearly as erratic as yesterday so I figured you might actually try sleeping for once. Actually, I'm very flattered. You came all the way here to see me." She said this with a goofy smile on her face. Setsuna felt herself heating up. How could Venus deduce all this from her emotions, which she thought she'd guarded so carefully?

_Venus, 3 - Pluto, 0, _she thought. It was the third time Venus had bested her.

"What brings you here anyway, since apparently my emotions weren't what was keeping you awake at night?" Pluto asked. If Venus had come on the assumption that Pluto wouldn't be there, then she must have some ulterior reason for being here.

Venus didn't answer immediately. Her eyes averted, something Pluto didn't fail to notice. _Score, _she thought in amusement, since for once she'd called out the blonde on something she didn't want to talk about rather than the other way round.

"This is no fair, you never answer my questions," Venus retaliated. Apparently she wasn't giving up that easily. "I'll tell you what. If you tell me what's on your mind, I'll tell you what's on mine."

Damn. Venus knew that was never going to happen.

"No deal. I'd rather not know."

"Are you saying you don't care?" Venus asked in a mock-offended tone that immediately had the desired effect of making Pluto feel bad.

"I do care, I just don't like bargaining." You couldn't negotiate with the enemy to win, could you?

"Oh by the way - sorry I couldn't meet you guys at the park earlier. I got detention." Venus went red and looked sheepish as she said this.

Pluto shook her head. Some things never changed, did they? As she briefly recalled the afternoon at the park, she felt that feeling of desire return to her and hastily brushed it aside. She couldn't let desire get in the way of her duty to protect everyone. Even if there was no current enemy, she just wasn't accustomed to allowing herself such luxuries as desire.

"It's okay," she replied. "I'm sure there will be other days."

As she said this, she realized what she'd just done - she'd opened a door between her and Venus, and invited Venus in. It was something she had never done before, and something that felt strange and new to her. Usually all her doors were locked and the key thrown away, all her barriers were up, and everyone she met was kept at a distance. Not tonight, however.

"So you're not running away from me this time?" Venus mused. "Quite different from yesterday's take-off, hmm?"

Pluto grimaced. She didn't particularly want to remember that only last night she'd collapsed from exhaustion and had had no choice but to allow Venus to look after her.

"Tell me," said Venus, "what bothers you about this morning? Because your emotions are going kind of erratic again."

"Nothing bothers me," Pluto said automatically.

"Yes it does, and I'm worried." Venus had concern written all over her face and Pluto found herself thinking _Maybe this is a person who won't simply look at me and think I'm weird. Maybe she won't judge me for not being able to welcome my new found freedom. _"Please," Venus pleaded. "I want to help."

Pluto sighed as she weighed up her options. She hadn't been planning on telling anyone how she felt but Sailor Venus made her want to tell. There was a trusting aura about the girl that made Pluto know that her intentions were genuine, that she wasn't just simply being nosey and persistent but really was trying to help.

That said, she'd never let anyone in on that level before, not even Haruka and Michiru. For her, it was a risk that she wasn't sure she was prepared to take. Until now, she'd always been content with keeping people on the outside of her emotions. If you let people in, your emotions could get played with and you could end up hurt or hurting the other person.

"Fine," she conceded, feeling completely uncertain about her decision but oddly unable to argue with the other girl. "What bothers me about earlier is that it's too normal. It's not natural for me."

"What's not natural?"

Pluto thought. The fact that she was talking to Venus on a rooftop wasn't natural. Minako dropping in on her using Chibiusa as an excuse wasn't natural. Pluto liking that Minako had done that wasn't natural. Setsuna standing in the park hoping that she would be able to come wasn't natural. Pluto coming to this particular rooftop for no reason other than the fact that Venus would be there…_most definitely_ wasn't natural.

"This…everything. That I'm even here. That _we're _here. That I'm even telling you this."

"Yes it is," said Venus. "Talking to people about things is natural. Forming friendships and relationships, it's perfectly normal."

"For you, you mean," said Pluto in a bitter tone.

"What do you mean?" Venus looked shocked.

"I'm not like you," Pluto admitted. "I never had friends or relationships. I never had the usual life problems and I never had people to talk to about them, or people who would talk to me about theirs. I never had wants or desires, only necessities, and I never had passions or dreams, but only the protection of other people's."

"But it doesn't have to be that way anymore. It's over now. Galaxia's gone so embrace your new life because you can have these things now!"

Pluto shook her head. "It's not that simple. It's who I always have been. I told you before, I'm not going back to anything because I never had it to begin with. And I know I should be happy that I even get this chance, but I've become so used to being Sailor Pluto, the guardian of the time gates, that it's hard to simply switch it off and live like an ordinary person."

"I see…" said Venus, as she tried to wrap her head around this information. "Pluto, I'm going to ask you to do me a favour.""Oh? What's that?""Just for tomorrow, cast aside all of your doubts and worries and do whatever the hell you feel like doing. Don't think about duty, don't think about saving the world, just _live _for one day. Please?"

Pluto found herself unable to disagree. It sounded crazy even to her but if it was for Venus, then she would do it. Who knows, it might even help her situation.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Setsuna woke up the next morning after a much better night's sleep than usual, with a new resolve and determined mindset. Getting out of bed, she scoured her wardrobe for an outfit. She didn't usually spend time choosing clothes, opting for whatever happened to be at the top of the pile, but today wasn't a usual day. Today was a day of change, and Setsuna was determined to cast aside her worries and be as normal as she felt like being.

She chose a pair of flared black jeans and an orange strappy top she'd found stuffed at the back of her wardrobe. She did not wear her hair in its usual style but left it flowing freelydown her back. Grabbing some lipstick, she smeared it on her lips and then applied eye shadow. Looking in her full length mirror, she stared at herself in amazement. Setsuna looked _cool._

Stuffing a few things into her handbag, she left her room and went downstairs. Not bothering about breakfast she headed for the front door. Hotaru, who was going in the opposite direction, stopped in her tracks and stared in disbelief.

"Where are you going, Setsuna-mama?" she managed as she tried to work out the outfit.

"Shopping," Setsuna said and left abruptly, leaving a very shocked Hotaru standing in the doorway and getting in her car.

_Screw duty! _she thought to herself as she drove towards the mall. _Screw saving the world! I'm going to have a real life, just like everyone else!_

When she arrived, she walked into a random clothes shop. Pulling a few random clothing items off the racks, she went into a changing room and tried them on, one after another, admiring herself in the mirror as she made herself look completely different from usual. Inside, her heart kept telling her to stop, that this was a waste of time and effort that could be put to other more useful things, but she pushed these thoughts aside. _Don't think about it, just do it, _she reminded herself over and over again. _It's what people with lives do. _Choosing a few items, she paid and then went into the next shop, repeating the process all over again.

Several shops later, she left the mall with quite a lot of shopping bags, more than she would usually be seen with. Somewhere deep down her emotions were in turmoil. There was no sudden enlightenment that this was how she was meant to live her life, no surge of passion, no happiness. As she walked out of the mall she felt empty and tired. It was as if she'd been on a mission and now that mission was over and she was back at square one. Nevertheless, Venus had asked her to, so she persisted.

Her next stop was one where she would normally never, ever allow herself to be seen at. It was also one whose roof she had become increasingly familiar with. Standing in front of the arcade, she remembered how she'd once thought that arcades were for only for ordinary people, not her. Well today was her day to be ordinary. Walking through the doors of the arcade, she wrinkled her nose as the loud background music hit her. She could already feel a migraine coming on and thought to herself _This is why I never come to these places._

It all looked pretty tacky to her - rows of people sitting at machines, their eyes glazed over in an intense concentration Setsuna thought was a shame no one seemed to acquire at school. There was the occasional squeal as someone won a prize, usually something silly like a key chain, and groans when people lost. Friends stood around the players cheering them on as if it was the Olympics. How people could get psyched up over arcade games, Setsuna had no idea, but if this was normal life then she had to try.

Hesitantly, she walked up to one of the driving machines, choosing this in particular for no reason other than that she'd seen Haruka do it and wouldn't look like a complete amateur. Inserting a coin into the slot, she started the game and slammed her foot onto the pedal, imagining that the car was real and that she was on a real race course.

_This is fun, _she tried to convince herself. _This is fun, I'm having fun, just like everyone else here._

Try as she might, she wasn't feeling it. She wasn't sitting in a race car speeding round a track. She was sitting in an arcade track watching a screen simulating the view through an imaginary car's windscreen. She missed a turn, and the car crashed into the side. Game over.

She slammed her hand on the steering wheel in frustration.

"Setsuna-san?"

She started, and turned around to see Minako and Usagi, both whom were looking extremely shocked. Setsuna puzzled at Minako's reaction. She would have thought the love senshi would be pleased that she was doing what she'd asked but instead she looked confused and, if she dared to think it, slightly frightened.

"Oh, hi girls," she said getting off the car seat.

"What are you doing here?" Usagi asked.

"Being normal for bloody once!" she snapped at them. The two blondes winced.

"Er…Usagi, go play a game or something," said Minako. Usagi looked baffled, but Minako gave her a stern look and she got the message, sauntering off to one of the Sailor V games. When Usagi was out the way, Minako grabbed Setsuna by the shoulders. "Setsuna, what do you think you're doing?" she stated in a low voice.

Setsuna shook her off and turned around.

"What you said," she replied shortly before storming out of the arcade.

"Setsuna!" scolded Minako, following her out. "I need to talk to you, for Christ's sake, don't leave!"

Setsuna let out a frustrated sigh and stopped, not turning around to make eye contact with the girl.

"What?" she demanded.

"This is way too far! When I said do what you feel like doing, I did _not _mean stop being yourself! Look at yourself, this isn't you. The normal you doesn't _do _arcades. You know, you can be yourself and be normal at the same time."

"What is normal anyway?" The words were so soft that Minako almost didn't hear. Setsuna's voice sounded lost and broken, betraying the emotions she'd never allowed anyone else to know about. "Simply being me can never make me normal. It's far too late for that."

"No it isn't!" Minako argued. "Setsuna, you don't have to be alone anymore. I won't let you."

"Yes I do." With that, she got into her car and sped away before Minako could say anything else. When she arrived home, she didn't bother getting her numerous shopping bags out of the car, but transformed and took herself off to the time gates. The gates were her comfort zone, a place of familiarity, even if they were lonely. At least there she could feel like herself as Pluto, like there was a part of herself that still made sense, because the part of her that was Meiou Setsuna most certainly didn't.

Pluto sat in front of the gates, gazing up at them like an old friend. They had been her only company for centuries and felt like home to her. She looked around at the emptiness and solitude that was her former life and for a while she felt at peace.

However, she also felt restless. Somehow coming back here wasn't the same as it used to be. Thoughts of Minako fleeted through her mind and she felt that feeling of desire returning to her. She realized she would rather be with the blonde than here but didn't understand why. This place had always been her comfort zone but now she felt overwhelmed with loneliness.

She wanted nothing more than to return to where Minako was, yet she'd run away out of fear and confusion. She'd never experienced these emotions before, had never been allowed to experience these emotions, and now they were tearing her mind apart as she tried to comprehend them. What was so special about Minako? She was just like anyone else really.

Pluto had tried to avoid getting other people involved in her issues, thinking she could handle them alone. Inside she was ripping at the seams. She remembered the champagne bottle Minako had talked about and how one day it would explode and spill its contents everywhere. Right now she was getting very close to exploding. Minako had been right - her issues were far too large for her to handle alone. It was the first time that had ever been the case for her.

She felt helpless. She hadn't at all lived up to what Minako had asked of her. One simple thing, and she couldn't even do it. She didn't know how to live and be herself at the same time. Her life was devoid of passion, love and all purpose except that of protecting the time gates. In her eyes, it's what she'd existed for, her reason for living, and now that reason was gone - leaving what? An empty shell? A product that was past its sell-by date?

In the end, she was a person who'd once protected people's dreams but had never had dreams of her own. She didn't have prospects, didn't have wishes. She'd learned not to desire anything because she would never get it, and had learned not to love because she was bound by solitude. Now she found herself desiring to be closer to Minako and didn't know what to do about it. Minako was just another person to protect, so she shouldn't be having these feelings.

_I've got to get out of here, _she suddenly thought. Being alone at the time gates had allowed her thoughts to catch up with her and her only desire, other than Minako, was to drown out the emotional turmoil.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Most people fear death, but do not realize that the real fear stems from having to give up everything in their entire life. They do not want to accept that one day they will no longer be able to wake up in the morning and go about their daily routines. They don't want to face an eternity of nothingness that follows the end of their lives. They cling onto religion and spirituality as a means of hope, so they can convince themselves that there is something out there for them after they die.

People who commit suicide welcome death because there is nothing in their life that they desire to keep. They feel helpless, lost and broken, in a dark place where they think their lives couldn't get any worse and would never get better. They see death as an escape from their sad reality, a vice which will end their suffering and cast them into oblivion where they never have to think or feel again.

For Setsuna, death was never an option because her duty required her to live for centuries, watching ordinary mortals come and go in a cycle of life she wasn't part of.

Death would be a blessing for her. With all her conflicting thoughts and feelings, she could see that there was no way out. She simply wasn't capable of living, no matter how hard she tried or what she did. She was only good for duty and destined to be alone. She wasn't able to allow herself to believe otherwise because solitude was all she'd ever known.

Now the evil was gone. She might as well die. She wasn't needed anymore. There wasn't anything about her life that she wasn't willing to let go of. The emotional turmoil was something she was dying to get rid of, and apart from that her life was basically empty, so she wouldn't really be giving up anything.

The other senshi, they could live without her. She wasn't close to the inners so they'd get over her pretty quickly. The other outers would be sad for a while but they had once lived without Setsuna and would be able to do so again.

Then there was Minako, the only reason why she was still sitting there in her bedroom, staring at a bottle of paracetamol in her hands. Killing herself would mean hurting Minako, the girl who'd tried her hardest to help ease her emotional pain. Minako had always been there even when Setsuna had tried to push her away, which said something for how much the love senshi cared. Strangely enough, Setsuna cared about her too - she couldn't deny it. Of all people, hurting Minako would be a betrayal to herself and everything she stood for. She saved people's lives; she didn't shatter them. Minako would be shattered if Setsuna died.

She didn't want Minako to be shattered. She loved her too much for that.

_Love?_

Her grip tightened around the bottle of pills and she wondered when it had suddenly become love. She'd stopped denying that she liked Minako and cared about her and that was one type of love. However, she knew this love she'd referred to was love of a completely different kind. It wasn't just a friendly affection. It was a desire to be wherever she was twenty-four hours of the day just so she could stare at her beautiful face. It meant she would give anything to make sure she was happy and safe. It was where she dreamed about her and in those dreams Minako was as beautiful as an angel from Heaven.

Setsuna had never felt that kind of love before.

She cast the bottle of pills aside and grabbed the phone. She was about to dial Minako's number when she heard a rapping on the window, and looked up to see Sailor Venus motioning frantically to be let in. Setsuna opened the window for the senshi, who climbed in and threw herself upon Setsuna, hugging her tightly.

"Setsuna, what on earth is going on here? I could sense you from miles away, you woke me up feeling terrible -" Her sentence trailed off as she caught sight of the pill bottle lying on the ground and her eyes widened in horror. "Oh my God! Setsuna, what the _hell _did you do?"

Setsuna sat on the edge of her bed. Seeing the anguished look on Venus' face made her feel extremely guilty and she suddenly wondered how she could have ever contemplated killing herself.

"Nothing," she said in a defeated tone. She'd never managed to swallow the pills because she'd been stopped by her guilt of hurting Venus. But she realized she'd already hurt Venus simply by thinking about it. "Nothing. I couldn't…you stopped me, Venus."

She couldn't help the tears streaming down her cheeks. She had no idea how long it had been since she'd last cried and she'd certainly never expressed that kind of emotion in front of other people. She'd always been stoic since it had been a requirement of her duty. You couldn't have emotions when you were fighting an enemy. You had to be ruthless and cold, destroy the evil without hesitation and without taking pity.

But now she simply cried, finally unleashing everything she'd kept concealed within her for so long. She didn't bother hiding it or pretending everything was alright. She didn't bother trying to be strong because deep down she was exhausted. She was done with stoic: she couldn't do this alone anymore.

"Setsuna…I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was this bad. But can I ask - what do you mean, I stopped you?"

"If I died it would hurt you, and I don't want that," Setsuna admitted. For a second she saw a hopeful look pass across Minako's face, but this was quickly replaced by concern.

Indecisiveness had never been one of Setsuna's qualities. She was always a careful thinker, always making sure she made the right decision before following through on it, and never went back on it. Today she'd changed her mind for the first time and still wasn't sure if she'd done the right thing. Perhaps it would have been better if she'd just swallowed the pills and been done with it.

The decision was to stop herself from hurting, or save Minako the pain of grieving.

She couldn't bear the thought of Minako being unhappy. She'd never cared so much about another person before that she would give anything to protect their wellbeing. It was ironic in a way - usually people sacrificed their lives to save the ones they loved. By not taking the pills, Setsuna had sacrificed her death, and had opted to keep suffering so that Minako wouldn't suffer in her place.

"I'm not a doctor but I reckon this could be medical. I mean from what you almost did tonight I'd say you were in depression."

Setsuna thought it was odd that her problems stemmed from things that were far from human comprehension, and yet Venus had put the consequences down to something completely scientific. Truth was, she'd gotten so used to otherworldy occurrences, so used to finding deeper meanings behind everything even slightly unusual, that she no longer recognized anything comprehensible by ordinary humans as a possible explanation.

"You think I have depression?""Well…yes. I mean, no offence but most non-depressed people _don't _try to commit suicide."

A tiny smile graced Setsuna's face. Minako did have a point.

"I guess."

"If it's alright with you, can I ring Ami-chan about this?" asked Venus. "Tomorrow, I mean, since it's kind of late. I reckon talking to her would be better than talking to some random doctor. I mean, you couldn't just go up to them and be all open about being Sailor Pluto, they'd probably think you're crazy."

Setsuna noted that Venus was asking before she told anyone else and appreciated it greatly. Deciding that it couldn't possibly hurt to talk to Ami, a fellow senshi and one who would see things from an academic point of view, she nodded and wiped her eyes. "Fine," she relented. "Fine. Ring her."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: 23rd March 2010 - Updated to resolve a minor inconsistency.**

**Chapter 8**

The next day, Minako having skipped school on account of the situation and having miraculously convinced Ami to do the same, she and Setsuna stood outside Ami's house. When Haruka and Michiru had asked her where she was going, she realized she'd been put on the spot, and simply said that she was going on 'an outing'.

"Hopefully not like yesterday's shopping trip," Hotaru had commented, causing Haruka and Michiru to demand what shopping trip that was. Hotaru explained how she'd left the house looking all crazy and, when she'd returned, had been carrying about ten shopping bags. This had not helped when Setsuna had tried to convince them that nothing was wrong and that she really was just going out with Minako for a bit.

"Minako?" Michiru had enquired. "Since when are you two such good friends?"

"Since recently," Setsuna had replied in her usual mysterious manner. Haruka and Michiru had _not _been convinced.

Setsuna was nervous. She'd allowed Minako to ring Ami back when she was at her lowest point, but now, the next day, her mind was a little clearer than before and she was beginning to have doubts. Although she and Ami understood each other on a certain level (this owing to the fact that they were both the academics of their respective groups) she wasn't sure if she wanted to open up to her on a more personal level. It was one thing letting in Minako, but Ami was still on the outside of the circle.

Minako was holding her hand. Setsuna let her, the gesture making her feel only slightly more at ease. The feeling of Minako's skin upon her own reassured her that everything was going to be okay. Minako trusted Ami and Setsuna trusted Minako's judgement. Minako had told her that Ami had promised not to say anything to anyone, especially the other senshi.

Ami didn't yet know who it was she was going to see. Minako had said that it was a person they both knew that she would recognize, but not a close friend of Ami's. Setsuna wondered what Ami would think when she realized it was her who'd nearly tried to commit suicide. As a time guardian, she'd always presented herself to other people as a person who was always level-headed and in control. The idea of her nearly losing it would probably seem startling to Ami.

Minako rang the doorbell. Setsuna's stomach clenched and she was tempted to just turn around and walk away. However, she knew there was no backing out now - Minako was a determined and strong-willed character and wouldn't let her just walk. Just like she didn't let her run away that night on the arcade's roof. Just like how she ran with all her might to reach her when she was about to kill herself.

Ami opened the door and her eyebrows raised when she saw Setsuna standing there with Minako.

"Hello guys," she said, in an obvious attempt to hide her surprise. She glanced at their intertwined hands and frowned, but quickly discarded the look by smiling at them. "Do come in."

If there was one good thing about Ami compared with the other senshi, it was that she didn't go down on Setsuna at once and demand answers to all her questions. With the others it would have been "Oh my god, you tried to commit suicide? What's going on? Are you okay? Can we help?" Being probed like that was exactly the kind of thing that Setsuna couldn't stand but, to her relief, Ami did the decent thing by waiting until they were inside where they could talk properly.

They sat around the kitchen table while Ami made tea. "It's nice to see you again, Setsuna-san," she said as she boiled some water, "albeit under such circumstances. It's been a while."

"It has," Setsuna replied.

The tea made, Ami sat with them around the table. This was the moment where the serious discussion would begin. Setsuna could see Ami watching her carefully and wondered what the girl was thinking.

"You're nervous," said Ami, direct as always. "I can tell by the way your hands are clenched together. And the restlessness indicates adrenaline, which you get when you're nervous. I suppose it's natural, given you have an introverted personality type."

Setsuna didn't speak but nodded, impressed by Ami's evaluation but not comforted.

"Go on, Setsuna," Minako gently encouraged her. "Ami-chan needs to hear it from you."

Setsuna took a deep breath, and then proceeded to tell Ami everything, from the nightly roof visits where she watched the city, to her collapse from exhaustion, to the day she went crazy, to her near-suicide, but carefully left out the bit about her feelings of desire whenever she thought about Minako. She didn't want Minako to find out how she felt, especially when her emotions were so haywire that she wasn't actually sure about it. She'd found a good friend in Minako and didn't want to ruin it by saying something stupid and awkward like "I desire Minako every time I so much as look at her".

Ami listened, not interrupting once until she'd heard the whole story. She didn't butt in with statements like "Oh my god! Did you really do that?" or "What the hell were you thinking?", but simply waited for Setsuna to come out about it and tell it at her own pace. When Setsuna finished, Ami made an effort to conceal her shock and act as any professional would, her face more thoughtful than frightened.

"Well based on this, I think I can confirm you have depression."

It was weird having the diagnosis actually confirmed. When Minako had first suggested it, Setsuna had taken it with a pinch of salt, thinking that Minako wasn't the best academic and was probably being too dramatic about it. Hearing it from Ami, a girl with dreams of being in the medical field, not to mention extremely bright and probably did know what she was talking about, made Setsuna realize that it must indeed be true, and this shocked her. She'd always thought she'd been mentally quite strong because of all the things she'd had to endure at the time gate. She'd believed it had toughened her mindset and made her hardened to things like this.

Now it slowly dawned on her that it hadn't hardened her at all, but had caused her not to do things that would put her mind in a vulnerable position. She'd avoided friendships and relationships, she'd avoided interaction with normal people and had kept her thoughts and feelings to herself, disallowing herself from opening up to anyone. This wasn't because she was tough, it was because she was too afraid to face the consequences of sharing herself with other people.

"However," Ami continued, "I am not qualified and am unable to prescribe you anything. But if you allow me to speak with my mother and tell her only part of the story, then maybe she can put you on antidepressants -"

"No, don't do that!" Setsuna interrupted in such a sharp tone that Ami flinched. She felt intruded upon. She didn't want the whole world knowing what was going on inside her head and the idea of allowing Saeko Mizuno, a doctor and a person not in on the secret of the Sailor Senshi, was horrific to her.

"Setsuna!" Minako said warningly. If it wasn't for the fact that it was Minako who'd said it, Setsuna might have been tempted to slap her. However, presence of the love senshi's voice was able to calm her enough to think more rationally.

"Sorry," she apologized to Ami. "I just don't like people knowing."

Ami shook her head. "It's expected," she said in her doctor-voice. "Well I suppose counselling's out since we can't exactly go around raving about our alter egos -"

"Ami-chan can I talk to you?" Minako piped in. "As in, alone?"

---

**A/N: I know a few of you have put this on story alert / favourite and this is REALLY FLATTERING so thank you so much.**** However, a few more reviews would be good because they really keep me going and motivate me so please can I ask you readers to take the time to do so? It would be much appreciated.**

**Also, special thanks to Kaiser969 who has left me lovely, long reviews every single time. I love our little convos, they sometimes give me good ideas for later in the fic. Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_(Minako's POV)_

With Setsuna refusing to open up to Saeko Mizuno, and unable to get any form of counselling for fear of revealing her true identity, Minako could sense that both she and Ami knew that they were running out of options. But she wasn't about to abandon the time senshi, not when she'd already reached her lowest point. As she sat there listening to the conversation, an idea started forming in her mind.

"Ami-chan, can I talk to you? As in, alone?"

Setsuna took the cue to excuse herself, though not before casting a suspicious glance in her direction. The vibe she got from Setsuna was slightly haywire - dark mixed with a feeling of being overwhelmed. _This can't have been easy for her. I feel a bit bad going behind her back when she's struggling so hard already but it's necessary._ As Setsuna closed the door behind her, Minako immediately started detailing Ami in what her plan was.

"Tell your mother anyway. Without Setsuna knowing," she said in a low voice so that, even if Setsuna did try to listen through the door (which Minako doubted because she wasn't the eavesdropping type) she wouldn't be able to hear anything.

"_What?" _exclaimed Ami, shocked by the suggestion. "But - I can't! This is confidential!"

"Doesn't matter. We have to help her somehow. What would you rather, that she'd try to commit suicide again?"

Ami didn't have an answer for that one. Lowering her eyes to her now empty teacup, she shook her head. Neither girl wanted Setsuna to try anything like that again.

"Please, Ami-chan," Minako insisted. Her eyes were wide and pleading, and her hands were clasped in front of her almost as if she was in prayer. She didn't like to imagine what would happen to Setsuna if they didn't help her. Her emotions had been considerably more erratic since the near-suicide which had Minako extremely worried. Last night she'd been awake in bed as her mind and body were filled with the dark and anxious emotions she was somehow able to sense from Setsuna far more strongly than anyone else she'd ever met.

"Fine. I can see how much she means to you," Ami said half-heartedly. "And I need to talk to you too. Setsuna isn't the only one that's hurting. After all, you were also on the rooftops late at night. Can I ask why?"

Minako winced as she realized what had been let slip when she was trying to help Setsuna. She hadn't meant for the session to veer towards her own problems, but Ami was as perceptive as ever and would, of course, notice these things.

Setsuna might have had a lot of difficulty trusting Ami, but she'd done it, and therefore Minako was sure she could too.

"I kept going to the rooftop because I knew she would be there and I wanted to help. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to her.

"She keeps me awake. Her emotions drive me crazy, they're so strong and so mixed up that I can't work her out. Somehow I can sense her so much better than anyone else I've ever met and I think it's because I -"

She stopped when she realized the confession she was about to make. It wasn't that she wasn't sure if Ami would be okay with it, because she was absolutely fine with Haruka and Michiru. On the other hand, Haruka and Michiru were both outers, both in the same group, and didn't have separate loyalties. It was easy for them. It mightn't be so easy for Minako and Setsuna - _if _it even happened. Minako wasn't sure if Ami, or any of the inners, would accept her bonding that closely and intimately with one of the outer senshi especially when, in the past, the two groups had operated so differently that they had almost been enemies.

"Minako, I promise it will be confidential if you tell me," Ami encouraged her.

"Because you medics never abuse your power," Minako said with light sarcasm. A small smile appeared on Ami's face.

"I'm not just an aspiring medic, I'm your friend and, whatever this is, I swear upon all the planets that I would never tell anyone unless you told me it was okay to do so."

This was all the encouragement Minako needed. Having known Ami for several years, she knew with absolute certainty that Ami was one of the most honest and trustworthy people she'd ever met. There was no doubt that she would keep her lips sealed.

Minako leaned forward and whispered it so quietly that Ami almost didn't hear her.

"I'm in love with her."

Ami considered the information and nodded. Nothing more needed to be said.

***

_(Setsuna's POV)_

It wasn't one of those times where you "poured your heart out and then everything suddenly seemed so much better because another person knew about it." Setsuna didn't feel at all better. Of all her feelings, the milder ones consisted of suspicion and awkwardness while the much heavier, more overbearing ones were confusion, emptiness, denial, love, grief and fear.

Above all, what was really getting to her was change. She knew that if she was going to have any kind of life on Earth, something about her was going to have to give and she would no longer be exactly the same person she'd been in her life at the time gates. Setsuna feared this change for she didn't know how she could possibly be anyone except for Sailor Pluto.

As Pluto, she'd looked at ordinary life as mediocre and trivial, something for ordinary people who didn't have to spend their lives saving the planet. If she was to now embrace this normal life, she would have to let go of that outlook and allow herself to accept that there was a difference between 'trivial' and 'pointless'. As she'd always been bound by duty, it had been her number one priority above everything else in the universe, and this made the idea of ordinary human life seem wasteful.

Sailor Pluto had been so stoic that she hadn't realized that the 'trivial' things in life were what brought people happiness. She couldn't see that it wasn't everything just to save the world because saving the world wouldn't matter if the people in it were miserable, and that it was these 'trivial' things that kept all these humans happy. It was their friendships and relationships that Pluto deemed pointless that gave them a reason to keep on living, not their duties.

Meiou Setsuna was beginning to recognize these things. It wasn't so much this realization that confused her, but the fact that it made her question whether she'd been wrong for all these centuries. The whole time she'd been standing at the gates, she'd convinced herself that there would never be any more to her life than her duty. She hadn't imagined that one day there would be no enemy and her duty would no longer be required of her. Since there had been nothing else to her life, without her duty she felt devoid of everything, like a hollow shell. Now, as Meiou Setsuna, she wondered for the very first time if this no longer had to be the case.

_But I already tried being normal and that didn't exactly work out, _she reminded herself, remembering the events of the day that had led her to near-suicide.

The door opened and Minako and Ami came out.

"Well that wraps that up," said Ami. "Setsuna, I will try my hardest to find a way of getting those pills."

"Thanks," Setsuna responded more out of politeness than gratitude. The idea of taking pills for her mental health seemed degrading when she had once been the strong-willed and powerful Sailor Pluto. Nevertheless, she and Minako bade goodbye to Ami and Minako proceeded to drive Setsuna back home.

When they arrived, Setsuna had barely begun to get out her keys to let herself in when the door opened to reveal both Haruka and Michiru standing there with irate looks on their faces. Minako suddenly looked slightly fearful and Setsuna felt sorry for her - she could see that the looks in their eyes were the cold stares of Uranus and Neptune, not Haruka and Michiru, and this was a side that none of the inners were particularly fond of.

"Minako-san, we need to talk to you," said Haruka in a harsh tone, giving Setsuna a look that said "Go away, you are not a part of this."

***

_(Minako's POV)_

They led Minako into the kitchen while Setsuna was quick in disappearing from the scene. The love senshi could instantly see this was not going to be tea and casual conversations. This was a confrontation, and Minako could easily guess what the subject of confrontation was.

"What the hell has been going on with Setsuna?" demanded Haruka, who looked so angry that her hands were trembling. Minako winced and shrunk back in her chair, feeling slightly misjudged and victimised.

"And don't lie to us," added Michiru, "because we know she's been acting strange since she started hanging around with you."

"It's not like that -" Minako began.

"Then what is it like, huh, Minako? Would you like to tell us why she's been doing crazy things like hoarding tasteless outfits from teenage stores, and disappearing off to the time gates, and not speaking to anyone except you?"

Minako was sure she had only seen the pair this angry when they had confronted Sailor Moon about her ability to lead and had fought her two on one, and knew she'd have to say something quickly before they jumped to conclusions and threw more accusations at her. However, she had promised Setsuna that it would be on the time senshi's own terms that other people found out about her depression.

Apparently she took too long to answer because Haruka slammed her fist on the table. "Answer me, Minako!" she raged.

"I can't -"

"_Tell us!"_

_I'm sorry, Setsuna-chan. I have no choice. _If Minako wanted to keep on any kind of good terms with the two outers, she was going to have to give in.

"She's in depression," she said softly.

"_NANI?" _gasped Michiru.

"And since WHEN were you planning on telling us this?"

"She asked me not to," Minako explained but Haruka wasn't satisfied.

"So let me get this straight. Setsuna confides in you, one of the inner senshi, something as big as depression, and yet we, her best friends, can't know about this? Just what the hell is going on here?"

_It' s complicated, _Minako thought sadly, but knew she couldn't risk telling them everything without revealing her part of the story.

_They can't even stand that we're close friends. If we became lovers…_

They would never accept that.

---

**A/N: Now THAT was more like it for reviews! :D Thanks guys, I'm very happy now.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Massive thanks to everyone who's been following my story and reviewed, they make my day and are very inspiring. So here ya go, the next chapter! :D**

**Also - I've been asked about including more Minako humour, and I said I would try. However, this chapter sort of rendered it impossible, but I promise I will put some more in future chapters.**

**Lastly, you lot had better thank me because this is the second time I've updated within a day twice now, which I think is damn fast, even for me. :P**

**Anyway, on with the story!**

**Chapter 10**

Setsuna went into her bedroom and closed the door. Although she generally respected other people's privacy, it was hard not to hear the shouting that was going on downstairs, especially coming from Haruka. It wasn't difficult to guess what they were talking about, and she felt a pang in her stomach as she realized there was no way Minako would be able to keep the information from the other two. She felt both worried and guilty. There Minako was fighting her battle for her, and taking accusations from Haruka and Michiru, all because Setsuna had asked her to keep her mouth shut.

_This is all because of me, _she thought dismally. _I'm so sorry, Minako. I should have told them to begin with. Then you wouldn't be put through this._

The door opened again and Hotaru entered looking worried.

"Setsuna-mama, can I come in?"

"Of course you can, Hime-chan," Setsuna said, and sat down on her bed with Hotaru on her lap.

"What on earth is going on downstairs?"

Setsuna sighed. Minako taking crap on her behalf was what was going on. Haruka and Michiru jumping to conclusions was what was going on. Setsuna being too much of a coward to speak for herself and confide in the two people she was supposed to be close to was what was going on. But she didn't tell Hotaru this.

"They're just having a serious discussion," she said instead.

Hotaru looked sceptical. Setsuna couldn't blame her - it was an awful lot of shouting for simply being a discussion.

"What about?"

"Important matters."They listened as the shouting continued and then eventually died down. Hotaru stopped asking Setsuna for answers though it was clear that she knew something was badly wrong. Setsuna knew that Hotaru ought to be told the truth, but the secret things which were going on inside her head had already been exposed to enough people already and this made her feel extremely vulnerable. She'd never had even one person, never mind four now, know this much about her before, and their ignorance used to be her form of protection. As long as no one had any knowledge of her, they would never be able to hurt her.

Now that was no longer the case.

The voices fell silent, and then there was a knocking on her door. Michiru let herself in to see Setsuna and Hotaru sitting on the bed talking. Setsuna looked up and, seeing Michiru's face, hardened her expression.

"Hotaru, please can you go? I need to speak to Setsuna alone," said Michiru.

Hotaru scowled. "This family is weird," she said before hopping off Setsuna's lap and scuttling out of the room. Seeing Michiru's frown, Setsuna guessed that Hotaru would get some hard words later about being respectful towards her family members. Hotaru was right, however. Things _had_ been weird lately.

"How could you do that to Minako?" Setsuna's tone was cold and seething but Michiru was tough and didn't buckle that easil. If anything, Michiru's response was even colder.

"We did what we had to do."

"No you didn't!" Setsuna replied vehemently. "Not only did you give her unnecessary crap, but you caused rifts between the senshi and jeopardized the future of Crystal Tokyo! If you had to be angry with someone, it should have been me, not her, because I'm the one who should have said something, not her! I'm the one who asked her not to tell. So no, Michiru, you _didn't _do what you had to do!"

Although Setsuna's anger was usually of the silent kind, right now she was in a rage. Minako had done nothing but be there for her and had respected her wish to remain silent about it. She hadn't done anything wrong. That coupled with the fact that Setsuna was in love with her meant that she yearned with all her heart to protect Minako from all the negativity that had been brought about by her situation. It was the least she could do for the one she loved.

"We should have known about this." Michiru sounded bitter and even slightly resentful. "We're your friends, Setsuna."

_Friends._

Setsuna didn't buy the guilt trip. Even after Galaxia's defeat, even though she'd now lived with the other outers for a long time, she always hesitated to use that word. 'Friends' implied sharing yourself with people and letting them in to see the real you. Setsuna never shared herself with anyone and strongly doubted that there was anyone on the planet who knew the real her. It didn't matter that she was closer to Haruka and Michiru than she'd ever been to anyone else because she still kept a significant distance between them. 'Friends' was a term for people who weren't afraid to be close to each other.

_I am a friend to them, but they are not friends to me._

_They say they're my friends, and this is their attitude?_

She grabbed her henshin wand and transformed, jumping out the window to leave Michiru standing in the room alone. She needed to speak to Minako.

***

_(Minako's POV)_

Minako walked around the corner of the street, stopped, and leaned against the wall. Gazing at the cloudless sky, she let out a wistful sigh. That confrontation had not gone well.

Her eyes were dry but her heart and soul were crying. She had not in the slightest bit admired the attitudes of Haruka and Michiru, who had come across as angry and resentful rather than caring. She thought that it shouldn't matter in whom Setsuna confided first because, after all, it had been something of an accident that they'd met for the first time on the arcade's roof.

_If this was their attitude, it's no wonder she was reluctant to let them in, _she thought as a bird flew across the sky. _Lucky bird. You have no cares or worries. You do not have to suffer the hardships of our lives._

School would just be finishing around now - she'd skipped when she'd found Setsuna on the brink of taking her own life. Her friends would probably be off to the arcade to play games, while Ami would be catching up on the work that was meant to be done in class. Sure enough, her phone rang. It was Usagi, but Minako ignored it, not wanting an interrogation as to why she hadn't turned up to be late with her.

The street was empty, completely empty. There were no people, just an empty street with a few cars parked down the side and the occasional bird crossing the sky. It was a nice day but Minako felt lonely. Of all the people that knew about Setsuna, Minako felt alone in this, especially with Haruka and Michiru acting the way they were. Even Ami had been reluctant to speak with her mum, though in fairness this was down to honesty issues, which Minako understood. But she was the only one who had pushed so hard and so unconditionally for everything, in getting Setsuna to both open up to her and allow her to get the help Setsuna needed.

It was a tough position to be in.

But not one that she would ever give up. She knew in her heart that she would always, no matter what the consequences, no matter what obstacles she encountered, keep fighting for Setsuna's happiness, because Setsuna was the single most important thing in her life.

_When did I start loving her this much? _she wondered.

She extended her mind to try and read Setsuna. She'd partly lied when she said she could read Setsuna better than the others - in truth, Setsuna was the _only _one whose emotions she could sense from this far off. With everyone else, the most she could do was assess the bond between people and determine if they'd make a good match, and this was only when they were within her sight. However, she hadn't wanted questions so, when asked, she'd toned it down to emotions being her "thing".

She found Setsuna's presence back at the outers' house and, a few seconds later, pulled away abruptly. There was so much anger there, so much rage and fury. Setsuna was _not _happy at all.

_She's going to be so mad at me the next time I see her! _Minako thought worriedly. _This is all my fault, I'm the one who told Haruka and Michiru! Ive ruined everything…_

_My chance to be with her is probably over. Gone. Wasted._

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she realized this.

"Minako-chan!"

Minako turned and looked up at the rooftop to see a familiar figure standing there.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

_(Pluto's POV)_

They stood on the roof as Venus and Pluto. The sheer fact that it was on a rooftop at all indicated to Pluto that this wouldn't be casual talking, but a serious discussion. The roof talks were always serious.

She noted that Venus didn't look very happy and felt sorry for her. Haruka and Michiru must have been really hard on her to make her this miserable.

"You know, it isn't exactly dark and anyone who looks up will see us," Venus said.

"That's what chimneys are for," Pluto replied calmly.

"You want us to go down a CHIMNEY?!"

Pluto almost chuckled at the expression on Venus's face as she misinterpreted what she was saying. This was one of Venus' qualities that Pluto loved - her ability to create comical situations out of misinterpretations. Pluto herself didn't have that quality. She wasn't one for making other people laugh, even if in Venus' case it was usually by accident.

"No. I want us to stand behind one," she explained. Venus sighed with relief, her expression turning solemn once again. Her eyes didn't seem to quite meet Pluto's and when they went behind the chimney, Pluto could see she was trying not to get too close. _She thinks I'm mad at her, _she realized.

"Pluto, I'm sorry," said Venus in a small voice. Her expression was sincere, quite different from the earlier hard gaze of Michiru, and Pluto could see that she meant those words. The look in her eyes was hopeless and dejected, slightly red which indicated she might have been crying.

"Don't be," she replied.

She had been trying to reassure the girl but knew instantly that Venus had misinterpreted her words. From the hurt look on Venus' face, Pluto mentally kicked herself when she realized that the two simple words had come off as cold and aloof, rather than reassuring. _Now she thinks that I don't care and that I'm rejecting her! _she chastised herself.

"I mean you don't need to apologize because I'm not angry with you," she quickly explained. Venus seemed to relax a little.

"Y - you're not?"

"No."

"You should be."

_How could I be? _She was the one who'd saved Pluto from herself. Pluto owed her life to her - though what that meant, she wasn't sure. Venus hadn't physically been there when Pluto had decided not to take the pills so she hadn't actually done anything, but the girl had been engraved in her thoughts so heavily that Pluto hadn't been able to face doing what she'd been about to do.

Was she grateful? She wasn't sure. It would be so much easier if she could simply revert back to her stoic and emotionless state, so much easier if she didn't have to feel. Death would be the only way to go back to that, but as she looked at Venus, she realized that death wasn't really what she wanted because it wasn't what Venus would want either.

_Her happiness is that important to me?_

"I'm not angry with you, Venus. I'm angry with Haruka and Michiru for what they did to you, and on their behalf I apologize."

She felt sad for having to do that, and even slightly ashamed. She'd known Haruka and Michiru to be this cold in the past, but that had been back when there was an enemy and they had no choice to be ruthless. Today they'd gotten angry with Minako and had blamed her for the way Pluto was acting before they even found out the real reason. Pluto usually didn't care that they were slightly frigid towards the inners, but today they'd stepped too far out of line because they'd hurt the most important person in Pluto's life.

"We should stick _them _down a chimney for a punishment," Venus jibed in reference to her earlier misjudgement. If Pluto hadn't felt so let down right now, she would have laughed.

"It's just because they care," she reasoned.

"I care too and you don't see me getting mad at anyone."

The words 'I care' stood out for Pluto and some of her sadness was replaced by a weird warm feeling, something she'd never felt before. _It makes me happy, _she realized. _It makes me happy when she tells me she cares._

Happiness was a new feeling for her. It was something she'd never experienced at the time gates, something she'd never had the right to. For a mere second she relished in the feeling, but then she recoiled in fear and shoved the feeling aside.

_I don't have the right to this! _she thought. _Happiness is for normal people, not me!_

"Pluto?" Venus questioned, and Pluto realized she had actually physically recoiled and was frowning. She shook her head to clear it. Her heart was thumping.

Venus looked thoughtful. She was probably peeking at Pluto's emotions again and this thought wasn't particularly calming. As Venus watched her, her expression looked oddly content for a moment, then turned confused.

"Weird," she commented. "You were actually pretty okay for a second there, then it's like your system went haywire." She paused as she thought for a moment. "Let me try something -" She looked directly into Pluto's eyes "- Pluto, I care about you. A damn lot."

***

_(Venus' POV)_

As Venus said those words she extended her mind to get an idea of what Pluto's emotions were like. They were, as she'd said, haywire - a whirlpool of happiness, fear, resignation, torment and denial. As she felt these things she became overwhelmed with sadness as she realized Pluto was not able to simply accept the words as they stood, and that she wasn't able to allow herself to be cared for.

_No one's ever cared for her like this before. She's been alone for all this time._

"I see now," she breathed. "I see that you are afraid of it. Don't be. It's nothing to fear."

***

_(Pluto's POV)_

Pluto felt very exposed. Having always been a very private person, it was strange to have someone read her like an open book and call her out on how she was feeling - especially when it came to things she didn't want to talk about. Her sporadic feelings certainly fell into the category of things to keep to herself, but unfortunately the one person she'd opened herself up to had the ability to sense what she felt like.

She didn't respond to Venus' comment because either she would have to lie, or admit that she was afraid. She'd always presented herself as a fearless person and somewhat ruthless -that she too could be vulnerable was a fact she guarded heavily. Instead of speaking, she could feel blood rushing to her cheeks as she was overcome with shame.

_You're supposed to be the strong one, _she chastised herself.

"It doesn't matter if you are," Venus continued. _How can she read me this well? _thought Pluto. "Everyone has fears."

No matter what Pluto told herself, or other people, she had no choice but to agree with Venus. She did have fears, many of them. She feared her very own emotions which were tormenting her at a level she'd never felt before. There were so many new feelings all mixed up inside of her: her feelings for Venus, the seeming inability to adapt to normality, the sadness, the emptiness - everything appeared to be upside down and she had no idea how to sort them out.

She feared what would happen if anyone found out about her feelings for Venus. She knew now that the outers would never accept it: they'd already made it clear they didn't approve of Pluto and Venus' recent friendship. Her greatest fear of all was being rejected by Venus, who would probably state that her feelings didn't go beyond friendship. Then things would probably become awkward between them and their friendship would gradually diminish.

_I couldn't stand to lose her, _she thought sadly.

"Tell ya what, let's go somewhere," Venus suggested. "It's a nice day, we might as well not waste it."

Pluto might have fears now, but at least the worst had not happened yet. While they were still able to remain friends, she might as well enjoy her company for as long as it lasted. Whether they would get closer in the future or eventually drift apart, she had no idea. But right now, all she cared about was feeling like she could, at present, be close to Venus. Deciding to cast her fears aside for the time being, she found herself agreeing with the love senshi.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: The information about the Azabu-Juban Onsen (hot spring) that I found while researching was found from some internet websites.**** Therefore I disclaim the information as not being my own. Now don't you dare sue me!**

**Terminology:**

**Onsen = hot spring**

**Sento = public bath**

**A/N: I've just realized this entire fic has spanned only 3 and a half days. Lol, I must be good at dragging things out…it's been the same day for 4 chapters!!! Time must be going really slowly, haha. Anyway, on with the story! :D**

***

They arrived firstly at Minako's house. Setsuna had never been in her home before. The home had a warm, family-ish appearance about it, though Setsuna knew better than to think it was one of those happy and dandy places. She'd heard things about Minako's family being somewhat dysfunctional, with a passive father and a mother that was always yelling, meaning the family wasn't as tightly knit as the house's appearance suggested.

Minako insisted that Setsuna wait by the door since she wouldn't be very long. She dashed upstairs and then, a minute later, dashed back down again carrying with her two swimming costumes. Setsuna raised an eyebrow and wondered what Minako could have had in store.

It turned out that their actual destination was the Azabu-Juban Onsen, one of the best known hot springs in Tokyo, which was situated in a building in the shopping district of Azabu-Juban. The spring had brownish water which was said to cure rheumatism, arthritis, neuralgia and other ailments.

On the ground floor was a regular sento. Not being a weekend or public holiday, there weren't huge numbers of people there, just the odd couple on a getaway. The bath was a little on the hot side, but the kind of heat that your body would retain and would get one's circulation kicking.

Setsuna would have taken more time to appreciate the warmth if it hadn't been for the fact that seeing Minako in her swimming costume was very enticing. Going red, she averted her eyes from the girl's body and tried to tame the images that had entered her head. She had once considered herself a person that was always in control, but the last three days had definitely proved otherwise.

"You look great," she said when Minako stepped out the changing room in her swimsuit.

"So do you," Minako replied. Setsuna could feel herself going red.

Once they were in the bath she wasn't quite sure what to do. The gates of time hadn't had such a calming presence as the hot spring. In fact, they had been rather cold and empty-feeling as if to emphasize her loneliness. Setsuna didn't know what she was doing here. She'd never once been able to allow herself to simply relax, had never once had a holiday while performing her duty.

Relaxation had always come second to duty, and duty second to none.

She felt tense and on alert, despite the calming effect of the water, knowing that it wasn't her place to be here and never had been. Even though she now knew it was simply the bad mindset of depression, she still felt as if she didn't belong among the ordinary population.

"Relax," said Minako and Setsuna figured that Minako had sensed how she was feeling. "It's not a crime you know."

"Of course."

At the time gates she'd never been allowed to relax except when she was sleeping. She hadn't dared to think of all the bad things that could have happened if she'd let her guard down even for just a minute. Doing so would have certainly ensured the destruction of the universe, something she, as the guardian of time, never ever wanted to be responsible for.

"I lied," said Minako. Setsuna snapped her head up and immediately went into defence mode. _No, not you! I trusted you more than anyone! _she thought frantically, but fought to keep her cool until she'd heard the girl out. "I lied about my abilities. It's only you I can sense, not the others."

_Only me? _Setsuna thought confusedly. She considered what that could mean. It made her an exception on Minako's part, which implied there was something particular about her - something that made her an open book to Minako. She couldn't think how she was different from anyone else. It's not as if she should be particularly special.

"How come?"

Minako didn't answer immediately. Her expression suggested she was struggling with something, probably something big.

"It's different with you. You're so unique, so different from everyone else. In a good way, of course." The sentences were slightly awkward in structure and sounded rushed, like she wasn't really comfortable with what she was saying. Setsuna felt that weird warm feeling again when she heard the compliment, the same one she'd felt earlier. She felt her heart rate speed up as her mind dared to hope that Minako was saying what she so badly wanted to hear. Quickly she discarded the hope. There was no way, simply no way. Setsuna of all people just didn't get that lucky.

"You're really unique too. In a good way."

They were close, with Minako's arm around Setsuna's shoulder and their face barely a ruler length apart. Setsuna could tell that both of them could feel that kind of tension but didn't move to turn it into anything. The fear was returning. What would this mean for both her, and everyone else? She remembered the cold, angry voices of Haruka and Michiru as they went down on Minako simply for being friends with her. It would only make things harder if they got together as a couple.

"Setsuna, what are we?" asked Minako.

Indeed, what were they? To Setsuna, Minako was the closest friend she'd ever had, and also her saviour. She was the first person in whom she could place all her trust and confide in without having to worry about risk or betrayal. She was also the person whom Setsuna wanted to get much closer to, something she had shunted as Sailor Pluto. Finally, Minako was the person who'd helped Setsuna open up to her own feelings and allow herself to feel too.

"We are two people," she replied. "Two people sitting in a hot spring relaxing together. Two people who weren't meant to become close, but did so gladly and regardless of consequence."

"I really like you."

"I really like you too," Setsuna admitted.

It wasn't one of those moments where you felt happier than you'd ever been in your entire life. Of course Setsuna was happy, but she also felt overwhelmed. So much had happened in the past few days that she didn't know how she felt about everything. She was sure of her feelings for Minako, but not about everything else, and knew that a relationship wouldn't be an instant solution to all her problems. Being in love didn't kill the emptiness and loneliness that had been with her for so many hundreds of years and didn't enlighten her on how she was supposed to adapt completely to this normal lifestyle. The bad emotions were slightly more tamed but nevertheless still there and she knew it would be a long time before they were gone.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This chapter officially makes this fic longer than any other fic I've ever written. I'm proud of me :D yay. Oh, and thanks for the reviews!  
Also, ideas and suggestions are very welcome. :)**

**Chapter 13**

The next few days passed by in something of a blur for Setsuna. With her feelings towards Minako out in the open, she actually allowed herself to dare to feel a tiny bit excited. Something good had finally happened to her, something that meant a lot to her rather than her usual gesture of casting all good things aside because she thought they could never happen to her.

Michiru was somewhat apologetic about the incident between the outers and Minako. Having thought about Setsuna's harsh words, she came to Setsuna with a promise that she would try to be more accepting of Minako's role in the situation. She explained that Haruka was still a bit upset, but only because she'd thought Setsuna was closest to them and finding out she'd chosen Minako first had come as a shock.

Michiru insisted that Setsuna talk to Hotaru about her situation. At first Setsuna said no: Hotaru was too young, she wouldn't understand as big things as depression. Later she was left cursing her idiocy as Michiru berated her for failing to realize that Hotaru wasn't just an ordinary girl, but the senshi of death and destruction: someone who had handled far worse things than depression. _I should know better, I'm how many centuries old and only look twenty!_ she chastised herself, and promised that at some point the family would sit down together and talk to Hotaru.

It was the first time Setsuna slept all the way through the night. She didn't make her usual trip to the arcade's roof and spend hours gazing at the city and wallowing about her life. She didn't need to, not today anyway. Now that she knew Minako had mutual feelings for her, somehow that made everything just a little bit better. To Minako, she wasn't just the extra, the person who was there because she had nowhere better to be, but a person that mattered. In the past, she only used to matter because her duties were what kept the world at peace, but now someone cared about her for who she was and wanted to be close to her as a person.

Knowing that she couldn't allow Minako to skip any more school on her behalf, she waited until the weekend before she next saw her. Minako once again used Chibiusa as a reason to come over, though Chibiusa wondered why Usagi didn't just bring her down.

"Usagi-baka never does anything for me," she grumbled. Minako and Setsuna said nothing but caught each other's eye, knowing that Minako had bribed Usagi with food in order to let her be Chibiusa's escort. Usagi was naïve and probably hadn't realized the second motive, secretly glad for a reason to not have the burden of Chibiusa with the added bonus of free food on top.

"I'm sure she does do things for you," Setsuna said kindly. "She's young, she's just living."

She actually reflected on her own words. _Unlike you, Setsuna, _she thought to herself. Things were better with Minako around but that didn't mean she healed instantly. Though her nights were more peaceful, and she was slightly comforted by thinking of Minako while she couldn't be there, the more content moments contrasted with darker ones where she still wondered if she'd done the right thing in casting aside the painkillers. _Then there wouldn't have to be anything to work through. I'm so tired. I want it to stop. Why didn't I just make it stop? _she asked herself countless times. The answer was always the same: Minako.

Speaking of whom, Minako was looking at her concerned. _Damn that thing she can do to my emotions, _Setsuna thought and tried to rein in her feelings.

"Living in the fridge more like," said Chibiusa. Minako cracked up. Setsuna allowed a weak smile.

They got down to serious business when Chibiusa ran off to play with Hotaru. With just the two of them there, Haruka and Michiru having taken the others to the park, they were now able to talk freely without feeling uncomfortable. Minako opened her handbag and brought a plastic bag out of it.

"I just came from the pharmacy. Ami-chan gave me the prescription this morning so I stopped by the pharmacy on the way here."

Setsuna eyed the bag. "What did you tell Chibiusa?"

"That menstrual pains are a bitch."

"Thanks." Setsuna opened the bag and took both the pills and the prescription slip out of it. She picked up the slip and read it. As always, the handwriting was doctor-ish but she was just about able to decipher it. Her eyes widened as she saw the signature at the bottom. "Minako!" she gasped, horrified.

"W - what's wrong, Setsuna?""Saeko Mizuno. You lied to me, Minako. You lied to me when I _trusted _you!"

If she'd been furious at Michiru the other day, right now she was absolutely livid with Minako. Suddenly the feeling of contentment vanished and was replaced with ire and fear. The one person she'd dared to open up to and become close to, the one person she'd allowed to see her mind and help her, and above all the one person she'd admitted to having feelings for, had betrayed her trust. If she couldn't even trust in Minako, then who else could she possibly believe in?

"I'm sorry, I -"

"Minako you promised me you wouldn't do that!"

"There wasn't any other way! I had to get the pills somehow!"

"No you didn't!"

_"Yes,_ I did."

The passion inside Minako's voice was what stopped Setsuna from going all-out.

"Yes I did, Setsuna. I couldn't stand to think you might do something reckless again."

Reckless, that's what Setsuna had become. She'd quickly gone from the guarded, stoic, careful guardian of time to Meiou Setsuna, a woman that was _reckless. _Setsuna resented that word.

"It's all I am, isn't it?" The sentence was accompanied by a wave of self-loathing. "I'm just this person who can't be trusted with herself. Just another burden to society.""No, Setsuna!" She could hear the urgency in Minako's voice and knew that she didn't actually think that about her. "That's not true, you _know _it isn't. Think about the last time we saw each other."

Setsuna felt herself calm down as she remembered just how good the other day had been. The words spoken between them had been pure and genuine; the things she was now saying to Minako were only in anger and confusion - she didn't really mean them.

"What about senshi business? Did you even think about that? _No one _must find out who we are, you know that."

"I know. Don't worry, it's taken care of. Nothing senshi-related was mentioned."

Setsuna nodded. If that was the case, then just maybe she could accept it. She wrapped her arms around herself, once again feeling vulnerable. This meant that five people now knew about her state of mind, whereas just a week ago she hadn't even allowed one person to find out. Her anger had now evaporated, and she was left in a state of questioning and wariness. If the same thing had happened a week ago, she would still be furious that Minako had betrayed her like that. After all, her mind was her private place, something she didn't need other people seeing into and dissecting.

_Is this what happens when you have feelings for someone? _she thought. _They betray your trust and you forgive them this easily? Am I just a fool for forgiving her? Did I make the right decision in letting her get this close?_

The questions whirled in her head. Perhaps it would have been better to remain alone. Perhaps she should have kept her mind to herself and faced her battles alone, because now she was confused as hell.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry this took longer than usual to get up. Thanks for your patience. It's the holidays and I will probably be a bit slower at updating because I get lazy. Thanks to all my reviewers, and once again, ideas / suggestions are definitely welcome (I need them badly so please tell me if you have one!!)On with the next chapter!**

**Chapter 14**

_(Minako's POV)_

Usagi grabbed Minako's arm and dragged her into the arcade. As she fumbled in her purse for spare change, she was oblivious to the demure expression on Minako's face. While Usagi was playing Sailor V, Minako was busy reflecting on the events of yesterday. She knew she'd lost some of Setsuna's trust and figured that she deserved it, but at the same time she was positive that she'd done the right thing in asking Ami to tell Saeko Mizuno about the situation.

She didn't know what she would be able to do if Setsuna decided to shut her out. With the time guardian such a closed and defensive person, if Minako was shut out, it would be hard to break back in. It's not that she thought Setsuna didn't have the right to keep her emotions private, but if she wasn't able to get close, then how would she be able to help her through her depression?

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Usagi wailed as she lost the game. "It's so unfair, I was doing so well! Okay, I don't want to play Sailor V anymore. Minako-chan, I heard there was a new game, let's go check it out!"

Minako found herself being escorted to the new game and the two of them stood around since it was already occupied by other people.

"Hurry up, I wanna play," Usagi moaned. "I heard this game was really good. What do you think, Minako-chan?"

"Yeah, I guess…"

She would have usually been excited about this kind of thing, but today her mind couldn't focus on trivial things like arcade games. Why did it matter if there was a new game when all her best efforts to help the person who meant the world to her seemed to be hitting dead ends? In real life, you can't simply slot in another coin once you've reached "Game over". You have to win the first time round, and Minako didn't feel like she was winning.

_What if I lose? _she thought, and the thought sent terror rushing through her. There was no way, simply no way. _I can't lose this one! I absolutely have to succeed!_

"Minako-chan, you have to try this game!" In Minako's lost thoughts, at some point the people before them had finished playing and now Usagi playing the game. Minako watched, not really interested. "Minako-chan, you're no fun today!" Usagi groaned. "Come on, you were so excited about it!"

"That's great…"

"Minako-chan?"

Usagi finally snapped out of her oblivion at Minako's lack of enthusiasm. She looked at her friend concernedly. Minako shook her head.

"Sorry, I guess I'm not in the mood today."

"Oh…"

Someone came up behind them and started ranting about people hogging the machines, so Usagi and Minako quickly disappeared and went outside.

"Minako-chan, what's wrong? I don't like it when my friends are sad," Usagi said, her enthusiasm for the new game having quickly evaporated. Minako almost wished she hadn't asked, since she didn't really feel like talking about it, but knew Usgai was only concerned and that it would be out of character for her not to be.

"Usagi-chan…what would you do if someone trusted you but you had to break that trust to help them, otherwise something bad would happen?"

"Well, that depends on what kind of bad," Usagi replied. "I mean, let's just say I broke someone's trust and all the cookies in the world disappeared…_that _would be bad!" she giggled.

"But what if the bad thing was that the person might…" She struggled to say the last word "…die?"

"Eh?! Who's dying?!" Usagi looked around wildly. Minako sighed. She should have known Usagi would be no good in this kind of situation.

"Never mind."

---

_(Setsuna's POV)_

Only Setsuna and Hotaru were in the house. This had been deliberately planned by the three adults, so that Setsuna would have the opportunity to talk to Hotaru alone. Haruka and Michiru were out for dinner at some romantic place or other, and Chibiusa had been kept out of the way by being told she couldn't come over today because of a private 'family thing'.

Hotaru was watching a TV program and Setsuna was stalling for time. Now she had the perfect opportunity to talk to Hotaru and yet she didn't want to take it. Especially after she'd realized the capability of humans to betray even when they swore you could trust them, she hated the idea that she was being pretty much forced to open up to yet another person. Yet she knew it was the right and fair thing to do. Hotaru was her daughter and had the right to know.

She joined Hotaru in something of an awkward fashion, perching herself on the edge of the sofa and eyeing what was on the TV. It appeared to be some kind of medical drama - _Well it's better than those silly soaps young people watch these days,_ she thought. Hotaru glanced at her surprised. Seeing Setsuna in front of a TV was an unusual occurrence since she always claimed she had more important things to do than stare at a box.

"It's nothing like this in real life," Setsuna said in reference to the TV drama.

"Yeah I know. They always survive on TV."

_Indeed, real life is not as kind, _Setsuna thought. It was one thing to watch a person go through hell and back on TV because they were only acting: they weren't really suffering. They probably knew nothing of the pain and anguish they would feel if the situation was real. But Setsuna knew, and for one moment wished like hell that her life was nothing more than a TV program. At least that way she'd be able to say that everything was going to be alright. In real life, you didn't have that guarantee.

"They know nothing. _Nothing."_

Hotaru turned to face Setsuna when she heard the statement. The tone of the time senshi's voice was bitter and vehement. The look on her face was angry and resentful as she watched some actor on the TV screen pretending to writhe around like he was having a seizure.

"Setsuna-mama…I can tell things have been weird lately but please don't keep me in the dark. I'm not stupid, or naïve."

Here was a moment where Hotaru sounded about fifty years older than she actually was. Setsuna remembered what Michiru had said, that Hotaru had had to endure being the senshi of death and destruction and was, as a consequence, far more mature than someone of her age should be. And speaking of her age, it had fluctuated so many times that her biological age and her actual age were probably severely mismatched.

"I know you're not, hime-chan. It's not you. It's me being my usual, _stoic _self." She emphasized the word 'stoic' because she knew it was what people called her when they thought she wasn't listening. She watched as Hotaru went red and looked slightly guilty. "Don't worry, I don't mind that people say that. It's true anyway. I am stoic. Stoic and emotionless."

"No," said Hotaru.

"What?"

"Not emotionless. No one's emotionless. So what is it that your stoic self was struggling to tell me?"

"You're right," Setsuna conceded. "Not emotionless. That's what my stoic self is telling you. That there are lots of emotions hidden away so that no one can see them, or couldn't until this week. In fact so many that they nearly tore me to pieces and destroyed me. I only come across as stoic because that's the image I present of myself, but deep down…" She trailed off.

"Deep down there's a you that no one know about. A you that isn't just the mysterious time guardian."

Setsuna nodded. The woman that everyone knew to be aloof and mysterious was only Sailor Pluto, the time guardian. Meiou Setsuna, on the other hand, was just a hurt soul trying to find direction.

"Can I ask," said Hotaru, "You said your emotions nearly destroyed you?"

Setsuna's stomach clenched as she remembered that dreadful night. The pain and confusion quickly came rushing back to her, the memory so vivid that she could almost feel physical pain. "Yes." It was barely whispered. "But I was saved."

"By who?"

"My saviour."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I'm sorry this took a while to post, but please let me explain myself. This week I was on a week-long orchestra course with 2 concerts at the end and it was extremely time consuming, literally a 9 to 5 thing which left me with very little time to write. So don't worry, I'm still around and definitely still writing this fic, just taking it a little slower than previously.**

**Thanks to everyone that's kept up with it so far, and here's the next chapter!**

**Chapter 15**

_(Setsuna's POV)_

It was three days since Setsuna had learned of Minako's betrayal and she hadn't contacted her. This wasn't because she was angry, for she'd forgiven her pretty much as soon as Minako had reminded her of the day at the onsen, but because she needed time to think. Much as she knew Minako's words at the onsen had been genuine, she was torn between wanting to do anything for Minako and feeling like a fool who was setting herself up for heartbreak. She understood that Minako had done it to help, but if she could go behind her back about this, then who knew what else she had the ability go behind her back for?

She'd spent a considerable amount of time at the time gates, knowing that they at least couldn't betray her. Objects didn't have emotions and didn't have to feel. They couldn't hurt you - they just stood in their place as though they were watching everything that passed by them. Sailor Pluto was the only thing that ever passed by the gates these days, and she could vent to them as if she were talking to another person without anyone actually finding out what was wrong.

Despite her confusion she missed Minako's company. One day she was thinking about how she felt about this and the word she came up with was _dead. _It was then that she had a very important realization - that she finally knew what the word 'alive' meant. 'Alive' was how she felt whenever she was around Minako. It was the feeling of completeness that she knew she could never find anywhere else except for in Minako's company. It must be the same feeling that Michiru felt when she was with Haruka, or when she was playing her violin - though how one could feel that playing an instrument, Setsuna had no idea.

_That day at the onsen I felt alive for the first time in my entire life. And now…?_

---

_(Minako's POV)_

School seemed more trivial today than most days. Each lesson passed in a blur as Minako's mind focused on other, more important matters. She got ticked off by teachers, who associated her behaviour with her usual antics that occurred alongside Usagi, but anyone that looked closely would have seen that her lack of attention was not just because she was bored in school. With her conflict with Setsuna unresolved, her mind was plagued with worry and she kept extending her mind to try and sense Setsuna's emotions. Each time she tried, she came up with very little, and that suggested to Minako that Setsuna didn't know how she was feeling.

She wasn't her usual talkative self, something which did not go unnoticed by her friends. With three of the other inner senshi in the same class as her, it was hard to be secretive about what was bothering her, especially when they were such caring people that they would never give up until they knew she was okay. How ironic that good character traits could be a bad thing in a situation such as this one.

Thus lunch time presented a lot of problems for her as her friends bombarded her with questions about what was going on and, in Usagi's case, invented conspiracy theories. Thank goodness Ami was already aware of the bulk of the situation, though she did not know yet about the argument. She was Minako's saviour in trying to pry Usagi and Makoto away from her so she didn't have to try to evade all of their questions.

Naturally Minako managed to land herself in detention with Usagi again. She didn't even touch the work she'd been given but sat there gazing out of the window and extending her mind to Setsuna. The time senshi must have been somewhere far away because she could barely sense her. It was as if she was there but not, and Minako was sure that there was only one place that felt like that. She sighed sadly to herself. If Setsuna was at the time gates again, then she was reverting back to the old Sailor Pluto, and that was not a good thing.

She barely noticed when the teacher looked over her shoulder and ticked her off. The words floated over her head - they were insignificant, the bottom of her priorities. Who cared about some teacher when her lover was upset?

When detention was over, she grabbed her back and left quickly before Usagi could catch up with her. She needed to find Sailor Pluto now, and there was only one way she could do that. Transforming into Venus, she roof hopped to the Tsukino household and, using a tree branch to help, swung herself onto the ledge of a window. She peeked into Chibiusa's room to make sure the girl wasn't there. It was empty - Chibiusa was probably just coming out of school herself. Quickly, before either of the sisters could return, she created a love-me chain and latched it to the window to tug it open. Climbing inside, she looked around, wondering where Chibiusa kept the key that helped her to travel through time.

Her eyes landed on a drawer. Opening it, she saw various bits of paper and stationery, but a bit more rummaging revealed a wooden box decorated with gems. Venus found the key inside the box, slipped it in a pocket, returned the box and slipped back out of the window before anyone else turned up.

Sitting in her tree, she stared at the key and realized she did not know how to use it. _Great one, Minako, _she thought bewildered. _That was well thought through, now wasn't it?_

Her eyes began to tear. How would she find Setsuna now?

Then the key glowed and she felt herself surrounded with warmth. A moment later, this warmth was replaced by cold and Venus realized her surroundings had changed. She was no longer sitting in the tree but was suspended in a large space. The key was glowing with a pink aura and she realized where she was.

The key levitated from her hand and pointed forward. Then it began to move. Not sure what to do, Venus followed the key. She walked for a good ten minutes before realizing that something had appeared in the distance. Feeling a sense of urgency, she increased her pace and the light of the key got brighter and warmer.

The shadow in the distance became larger and clearer and the presence of a figure kneeling came into view. _Pluto! _Venus thought as she broke into a run to cover the rest of the distance. "Pluto!" she cried out. "Finally I found you!"

Pluto's head turned around and gazed at Venus. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright with frustration. A slight frown creased her forehead and her lips were quivering.

"Venus," she acknowledged but did not say anything after that.

"How are you?"

It was more of an awkward silence filler than anything. Pluto would probably try to pretend she was okay, Venus silently predicted, but she already knew otherwise.

"Alright." _I knew it._

"Yeah you're alright. Just like that time on the roof where you ran off and collapsed. You were alright then too."

Pluto's eyes wouldn't quite meet Venus'. They gazed at the floor, expressionless and empty. This time she didn't fight back. She knew by now that Venus couldn't be fooled that easily.

"I'm sorry I did that to you." Venus was talking about the incident with the pills. "You trusted me. I betrayed that."

"You were trying to help."

"It didn't. It made you stop trusting me."

"Still."

It was an obvious white lie. Pluto was still hurt, Venus could sense that easily.

"Will things be the same again?"

"Perhaps."

Venus cursed herself. Pluto was back to short answers and evasiveness, all because of her being stupid and scheming things behind her back. It was one of those cases where good intentions had unfortunately led to a bad outcome, a consequence that posed as a major setback and would take some time to repair. Trust, especially on Setsuna's part, wasn't an easy thing to win, and would be even harder to win back now that it had been broken.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Finally got this chapter down! And by the way, I've got exams coming up which means I'm busy this term. So I'm afraid it's gonna be slower updates from now on. Apologies and I hope you understand. Thanks to everyone who's kept up the story and is still reading.**

**Chapter 16**

_(Minako's POV)_

Perhaps it was simply fate.

Perhaps there was a certain way of events that was supposed to happen, but the sands of time did not like how things were turning out. Perhaps they decided to intervene and cause a shift, something that would prod things along a bit and lead to the desired outcome. Perhaps what happened the next day was inevitable.

All Minako did was trip over. It could have happened to anyone, anywhere, but today it happened to Minako at the top of the stairs. She tripped and tumbled down the stairs. The sight afterwards was not pretty.

No one was home - both parents were at work, or rather, her dad was at work and mum was probably lunching with her lunch buddies, moaning about how her husband didn't make enough money and her life was crap as a result.

Lying on the floor, Minako whimpered, in too much pain to stand up. She was sure something had broken, having heard a sickening crack when she fell. Casting her eyes around, she could see the phone nearby but it was too far to reach it and ring an ambulance. No one would come by here for ages - her friends would be on their way to school and her family were out.

_Now what do I do? _she thought, panicking as she realized no one would come and find her for the whole rest of the day.

Then the doorbell rang.

---

_(Setsuna's POV)_

Setsuna was one of those people with remarkably good instincts. It was that feeling where you just knew something was wrong even though no one had told you anything. When she woke up in the morning, her stomach clenched and her thoughts immediately went to Minako. Though she told herself not to be silly, the feeling of anxiousness grew within her and she knew the sands of time must be trying to tell her something.

_I'd better check on her, if only for my own peace of mind, _she thought. The conflict of the past few days now seemed trivial.

She spent minimal time getting washed and dressed before hurrying out of the house, not stopping for breakfast. Her sense of urgency grew as she brisk-walked towards Minako's house and her sense of danger heightened. Then, as she rounded a corner, she buckled over as she felt intense pain shooting through her body and down her left leg. It was only momentary, but that was when Setsuna knew that something really bad had happened to Minako.

_What have you done! _she thought fearfully as she gathered herself together and practically jogged the rest of the way. On arrival she practically slammed her finger onto the doorbell and rang it. When no on answered, she twisted the door handle and found it, thankfully, open.

Not so thankfully, however, was the sight of Minako sprawled out on the floor, unmoving, her left leg sticking out at an odd angle.

"Minako!" Setsuna gasped as she went to the girl's side. Minako looked up with a pained expression on her face.

"Setsuna…" Her voice was hoarse.

"Don't move." Setsuna looked around for a phone, grabbed it and rang an ambulance.

---

Sometime during the ambulance journey, Minako fell asleep, and Setsuna gazed at her face deep in thought. Her heart was racing and her hands were trembling. A continual stream of horror coursed through her as she realized that she could have so easily lost Minako.

_I've been so stupid, _she thought. _I should cherish the time I have with her._

She frowned at this. She'd never had anything to cherish before. It had been impossible to cherish things at the time gates where she'd placed her duty before anything else in the whole universe; where duty had been her only purpose.

She reflected on how she'd changed over the past few weeks. Since the end of her duty, she'd felt like she had no purpose left, that all that was left for her was choosing to live with feelings of isolation and emptiness, or dying to end the suffering. However, this had changed that day at the onsen when she'd admitted to Minako for the first time that she liked her. It was as if she'd found a new reason to keep on living, even if she didn't understand it.

And now she'd nearly lost her. She knew that was an exaggeration but it had suddenly hit her that she'd wasted valuable time in keeping her distance from Minako. It had achieved nothing but confusion and unnecessary hard feelings between them when she knew that in reality both of them wanted to forgive each other and move on.

It was what they should have done in the first place.

Sighing to herself, she picked up the phone. Minako's friends would need to know about this.

***

"So you just happened by and found Minako lying there?" Rei repeated.

Setsuna nodded, though only now did she realize how strange her story sounded. She wasn't one of those people who 'happened by' or 'dropped in for a visit'. To the inner senshi, with the exception of Ami, she was regarded as not particularly close to any of them. Why would she drop in for random visits? She also knew that it was assumed that she had better things to be doing than watching over any of the inners.

Now they would question her relationship with Minako, questions she didn't really want to answer to them.

"So the one day she trips and fall downstairs just happens to be the day you go and visit her?"

"Apparently." _Please stop questioning me!_

"Then again, I guess I'm not surprised. After all the guardian of time knows these things, right?"

Setsuna was beginning to understand Rei's harsh tone. Rei wasn't simply sceptical about the situation, she resented it. After all, she was the other psychic, and she clearly hadn't seen this coming. Setsuna had, and Rei resented that.

None of the other inners had spoken. Makoto was gazing at the midpoint between Rei's and Setsuna's faces as though she could see some kind of electric charge that represented the friction between them. Usagi was by Minako's bedside with a pained and unusually sombre expression on her face. This was no time to be klutzy or clumsy, not when Minako was injured. Ami kept glancing at the chart with the medical notes, though she had probably memorized them by now.

"So what's the story anyway?" Rei continued. "For all this time you have pretty much nothing to do with us, and then suddenly you're hanging out with Minako as if she's your new best mate. Tell me, Setsuna-san, what changed?"

"Is it a bad thing?"

Setsuna had to ask. In her opinion she didn't see the problem that she and Minako were much closer than before, despite the dire circumstances. She thought that, out of all the negativity in her life, Minako was the one good thing to have come out of it. However, she'd often worried about the opinions of the inner senshi, who would regard Minako was one of their own and Setsuna as an outsider. In their opinion, she'd be interfering, even trying to break them up.

"I would say no but I know you outer senshi. You stick to yourselves and you're cold and ruthless. I'm telling you, Setsuna-san, if I find that you are using Minako for anything then I _will _get revenge for it."

_Then it's a good thing I'm not using her for anything._

But Rei wasn't convinced of that.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Okay, so I know it's taken me forever to update and I am very very very sorry about this! There is this thing called exams and it takes up time. There is also this thing called writer's block which takes up even more time. There is also yet another thing called 'CSI: New York' which has been subject of my addiction recently, meaning this took a back seat for a while. But have no fear, this story is definitely continuing and here is the next chapter!**

**Chapter 17**

_I should have got there sooner, _Setsuna thought as she watched Minako hobbling around the room on the crutches trying to get used to them. The sight of Minako with her leg in a cast was making her feel downhearted. Once again the power of psychic had failed her. She hadn't made it in time. Minako had gotten injured despite the warning.

And there she was, blaming herself once again for things which were beyond her control. For all that she had given up her duty at the time gates to be normal, she still had a duty towards Minako to protect her. After all, they were close friends and possibly more. She knew it was a bad road to go down: last time, such thoughts had led her down the near-suicide path, and that was something she knew could not be repeated, even if it was only for Minako's sake rather than her own. There were still days where she wanted to take the pills but the thing that stopped her every time was how Minako would feel if she actually went through with it.

"I _hate _crutches!" Minako groaned. "They're really slow. I'm going to be late for school every day with these things."

Setsuna almost commented on how Minako was always late for school anyway but bit her lip. She didn't need to be making Minako feel worse about her situation than she already did.

"It's only for a few weeks," she said instead. "Then you'll be back to normal again."

"Thank God there's no new enemy or I'd be so screwed right now."

Sailor senshi out of action. Something which Setsuna, as the time guardian, could have and should have prevented. What would happen if there was a new enemy right now, today, and there was no Sailor Venus? Setsuna knew she'd work doubly as hard for Minako's sake, but Minako would still be endangered by the fact that she was now as powerful as any ordinary civilian - in other words, powerless.

_There isn't going to be a new enemy, _she thought, though she knew she could never say that with certainty.

"Well if you ever need anything just ring me -"

"I'm _not _a weakling!"

Setsuna winced, startled. She'd never seen this angry side of Minako: that was usually Haruka, Rei or Makoto. The fury in Minako's eyes made Setsuna realize how Minako really didn't want to be treated any differently despite the fact that she was now in crutches. Nevertheless, she hadn't meant her statement in that way. She'd only been trying to help.

"I'm not saying you are, but -"

"But nothing! I'm managing fine."

"I just wanted to help…"

The statement sounded useless and pathetic and Setsuna felt powerless. She had hoped that Minako might reach out to her. She knew Minako liked her, surely that was what people who liked each other were meant to do?

"Sorry," Minako huffed. "It's just _so annoying."_

Minako gave up on the crutches and crashed down on the sofa next to Setsuna, her arms folded across her chest and her leg stuck out straight, unable to bend because of the cast. She sighed a frustrated sigh. Her left hand found its way to Setsuna's hair, which she twirled around her finger.

"What are we going to tell the others?" she asked. Setsuna knew she was referring to the dialogue between herself and Rei at the hospital. She also knew that it was for her sake that Minako hadn't said anything to them - after all, any more damage to her _fragile _state of mind might cause her to tip over the edge again.

Setsuna shrugged. What was there to tell? What were they anyway? Friends? Lovers? At the moment they appeared to be somewhere in the middle. It didn't matter anyway, because it would all get back to the fact that Setsuna had tried to commit suicide and was in depression, something she couldn't bear the thought of people finding out about.

"Rei's already sceptical, and that's just with close friendship, never mind love.""Love…" Minako echoed. Her eyes gazed somewhere in the distance.

"Minako?"

Minako turned to face Setsuna.

"I want us to be more than friends," she confessed. "That is, if you do."

Setsuna felt her heart race. It had been a long time since that had happened and the implications caused her to hesitate. She wasn't sure if she was ready for this. Love was a well-known source of emotional turbulence, something which she'd experienced masses of already. If something bad were to happen between them, Setsuna wasn't sure if she would be able to take it without succumbing to that bottle of pills. However, as she gazed into those beautiful, blue eyes, she found herself longing to say yes.

She'd never been a risk-taker - her job had always required caution. This, on the other hand, was one massive risk. She was teetering on an edge and would either step back or take the plunge and hope for a soft landing.

It all came down to how much she trusted Minako.

Minako had saved her from suicide, effectively from herself.

Minako had helped her to open up about her emotions.

Minako had shown her that there was more to life than duty.

Did she trust Minako?

Yes. She did.

"I would like that," she said. From the beam on Minako's face, and the warm, fuzzy feeling in her stomach, Setsuna knew she had ultimately made the right decision.

Something changed in Minako's eyes and before Setsuna could figure it out, she felt Minako's lips upon her own. An impulsive move, one which she was quite happy to respond to. The kiss was electrifying, bringing with it feelings of ecstasy and joy that Setsuna didn't think she'd ever felt in her entire millennium-old life. For all the duty in the world, one good thing had finally happened to her and suddenly she knew she had a reason to live.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that's consistently been reading this story. I will try and update more frequently than I have been recently. Please R&R, reviews are much appreciated.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**A/N: Sorry again for the long wait! Here's the next chapter, finally! Thanks to all my reviewers. Feedback is always appreciated.**

**A/N 2: This chapter has been updated to resolve a pretty major inconsistency. Thanks to reviewers who pointed it out!**

"_**MI-NA-KO!"**_

They couldn't have broken apart any faster, fear coursing through Minako's veins as her mind caught up with the situation. Standing in the doorway, with an expression of horror on her face, her hands balled into fists and practically trembling with rage, was her mother. Minako risked a glance at Setsuna, who also looked fearful but a lot less so as she once again concealed her emotions behind her poker face.

_We are so dead, _Minako thought, her stomach clenching as various scenarios played out in her head, none of which ended well. Her mind filled with regret that, what had been such a happy moment mere seconds ago, had turned into a complete disaster.

"Mother…" she acknowledged, her voice hoarse with disbelief.

"Get out!"

The words were directed at Setsuna. Setsuna caught Minako's eye, uncertainty expressed in her features. Minako nodded, indicating that it would be better for her to go. She didn't want to drag Setsuna into this mess for as much as she could help it. She already had enough on her plate and it wasn't her place to save Minako when she was the one who had been reckless enough to initiate the kiss in the first place.

Setsuna left, but not before glancing behind her one more time. For a second, Minako felt warm, since this was a rare gesture on Setsuna's part that she was looking out for her. But this warmth was quickly replaced by terror as she turned to face her mother.

"How could you do this to me!" her mother demanded. "This isn't how I brought you up, Minako! I did not bring up my daughter to go around kissing women like a disgusting _whore!"_

Tears had started coursing down her cheeks before Minako even realized she was crying. Confused thoughts tumbled through her head as the reality of the situation suddenly hit her. When she'd first started liking Setsuna she hadn't even stopped to consider her sexuality. She hadn't thought twice about the fact that it was a woman she was attracted to; it had seemed natural, normal. But now as she looked into her mother's eyes and saw disappointment and horror in them, she suddenly realized that not everybody was as open-minded - not everyone lived in her friend circle where there were already several lesbian relationships. The world was a cruel place, and her mother was part of it.

"It's not disgusting!" she argued, her voice choking.

"And not only is she a woman, she must be a good ten years older than you!" her mother continued, ignoring Minako's protests. Minako almost wanted to laugh at the irony. Setsuna was about a millennium older than her, but thank goodness her mother would never find that out.

"I don't know what you were thinking, Minako, but no daughter of mine is a lesbian! I forbid you to ever see that woman again, and if I ever see you within ten feet of her, I'm kicking you out of the house!"

"Mother," Minako choked. "Don't do this."

"Yes I _will _do this because I will _not _have a lesbian living in my home! I might as well let the cockroaches in while I'm at it. You are also grounded for a month. You will go to your room and think about your actions, and later you can come and apologize to me."

"I will _never _apologize for my love for her!" Minako yelled, attempting to stand up using the sofa for support. Using her crutches, she hobbled as fast as she could, not towards her bedroom, but towards the front door. Behind her, her mother yelled at her to come straight back and go to her room but she ignored her, leaving the house and slamming the door behind her. She made her way down the street, adrenaline fuelling her desire to move as quickly as possible, and only stopped once she had rounded a corner.

She was as good as kicked out now - her mother would make sure her father didn't let her back in later. Her father, a submissive type, would give in to her, thinking that she knew what was best for Minako and not caring to argue because then he'd be the one getting yelled at. Minako suddenly felt afraid. Where would she go from here?

It suddenly hit her how dependent she'd been on her parents. For all the times she'd complained about them, in the end, they were the ones who had given her a roof over her head and food on the table. It was something she knew she had underappreciated and it was only after walking out that she realized what she'd just given up.

She might as well be a beggar on the street.

Emotionally drained, she picked herself up and started hobbling slowly, in no particular direction. Her parents definitely didn't win the World's Greatest Parents award but she was still their daughter and she loved them. So her mother yelled a lot, and her father never stood up for her. So they spent all of their time out of the house not paying her attention but instead being wrapped up in their own busy lives, lives which mostly did not include her in them. It didn't change the fact that she was their daughter.

"Mina!"

She heard Setsuna jogging to catch up to her. She must have waited, Minako realized, and her heart fluttered. She embraced Setsuna with a tight hug and, unable to contain herself anymore, broke down crying. Setsuna simply held her, caressing her back and stroking her hair, mumbling words of comfort that they would sort something out and that Minako would make it through this. She also heard an apology.

"I'm sorry," said Setsuna.

Minako shook her head, her senses on alert as she knew what Setsuna was doing: what she always did, that being that she was blaming herself.

"Don't be," she replied weakly. Her eyes pleaded with Setsuna not to go down that path of self-blame and guilt again. She didn't need Setsuna committing suicide on top of everything that had just happened. Then Minako herself felt guilty as she realized she had made it not just about Setsuna anymore, and cursed her selfishness. She should be wanting Setsuna not to go down that path so that Setsuna would be happy, not so that Minako wouldn't have more of a burden to deal with.

"I'm going to come out about it," Setsuna stated.

Minako frowned.

"Don't make this decision on my behalf."

"I'm not. You're coming to stay with me, and I'm going to tell Haruka and Michiru. If you want to, that is."

"You'd be willing to do that?"

She knew what a tough decision that was for Setsuna. The outers had been angry enough when Setsuna had kept her depression from them, never mind near-suicide and now a relationship with Minako. They were both aware of the mess and the conflict that could arise from telling - the rift between the two groups, as they realized Setsuna was willing to be more honest and open with Minako, an inner, than Haruka and Michiru, who were outers.

Setsuna merely nodded.

"I am," she replied. "I think it's about time."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**A/N: This is essentially the same as the last chapter, but what happened from Setsuna's POV. It hopefully explains how Setsuna came to the conclusion that she was going to come out rather than back away into solitude.**

_(Setsuna's POV)_

Setsuna felt reluctant to leave on the sole basis that she felt like she was abandoning Minako. However, when Minako gave her that insistent look she realized that leaving would be the best thing she could do right now, since staying would mean aggravating her mother further. Casting a last glance at Minako, she walked out of the house, praying with all her heart that whatever happened to Minako, her mother wouldn't be too hard on her. Instead of going home, she waited several yards down the street, waiting. Minako might need her later.

She felt a horrible pit of guilt in her stomach. She was supposed to be Minako's protector, and once again she had failed, just like she had failed to reach Minako last time when she'd broken her leg. Because of her recklessness, her carelessness, her desire to take something good for herself for once in her life, Minako's relationship with her family was now in jeopardy, and it was all her fault - her fault for being selfish, her fault for thinking she even had the slightest chance of being happy for once.

_I should have kept my distance, _she thought, _then this never would have happened._

In one instant, all of Setsuna's fears had come true. She hadn't wanted to open up to Minako, knowing that it was a risk to do so, and with risks came consequences which could either be good or disastrous. For a short while, it had seemed like those consequences would have been good, even amazing, and she had allowed herself to believe that perhaps nothing bad would come of it. How badly wrong she was.

She considered simply walking away on the notion that if she backed off now, the situation wouldn't get any worse. If she left Minako's life, her relationship with her parents would be saved and she could move on as though it had never happened. And Setsuna could return to her solitude just as she'd been destined to do so. What a fool she'd been to think that she didn't have to be alone, she thought.

Unlike a few weeks ago, however, she knew that she couldn't walk away. Whereas once before she would have thought it her duty to be alone, to distance herself from people because that was her destiny, now she knew that it was her responsibility to be there for Minako, and therefore she couldn't just turn her back. She had willingly entered into this relationship with her, and this had given her a new duty - to be there for Minako and pick up the pieces when Minako was hurt.

Walking away would be failing her duty yet again.

And thus, she waited.

While she stood there she considered the events. The kiss had been wonderful, and in those few seconds she was sure she'd had a glimpse of what true happiness felt like. It was a feeling she'd never experienced in the entire millennium she'd existed, one which had in that moment completely overwhelmed her. Then, as if to remind her of her destiny and duty, that moment had been cruelly snatched away from her and, now that she finally understood what she had missed out on for all those years, she wanted it back more than anything.

But was that feeling worth all the obstacles that came with it? It scared Setsuna to think of all the things she would have to admit, not only to her friends, but also to herself. If this was going to work, she would have to come out about it eventually. And that would mean taking that final step in opening up about her depression and near-suicide, something she was still extremely cautious about.

It would mean shattering the façade she'd kept up for her entire lifetime. She would no longer be the stoic, emotionless Sailor Pluto, but Meiou Setsuna, the woman she'd struggled to become ever since Galaxia's defeat. It would be both a blessing and a curse, a newfound freedom but an extremely tough step to take that would be by no means without its inhibitions.

A short while later she saw the front door open and Minako hobbled out on crutches. Her face was facing the floor so Setsuna couldn't see if she was crying. Minako turned the other way and started hobbling down the street. Setsuna quickly ran to catch up with her and caught her in her arms as Minako broke down crying and choked out what had gone on between her and her mother.

In that moment Setsuna's mind came to an instant decision.

"I'm going to come out about it," she said.

A short while later Setsuna had driven Minako back to the outer senshi's house. She could hear the faint sound of Michiru's violin coming from upstairs somewhere but it stopped when Michiru heard their arrival. Michiru smiled when she saw Minako standing on her crutches.

"Glad to see you're out of hospital," she said, but then she saw the desolate look on Minako's face. Her eyes widened. "Um - what's going on?" she inquired.

"It's a long story," said Setsuna in an attempt to stall. The realization that she was about to come out, as well as the implications, was only just hitting her now and her hand nervously ran through her long hair, shaking slightly from the adrenaline which now pumped through her veins.

"I have time."

"We have something important to tell you," Setsuna continued.

The kind of fear she was feeling right now was ironic when she considered all the death and destruction she'd had to deal with as the time guardian. For all those centuries, no matter what had happened, no matter how bad the situation, she'd managed to keep her poker face and act like she was dealing with everything. But now that her stoic expression had started to crack, it seemed increasingly more difficult to keep up her emotionless façade. She was sure that, if she looked into a mirror right now, she wouldn't see an expressionless woman, but a woman who was filled to the brim with pent up feelings but was too afraid to dare to express them.

Part of her wanted to laugh at herself. For all the death and destruction in the world she was more afraid of self-expression?

Glancing sideways at Minako, Setsuna thought that if Minako was seeing into her emotions right now she would be seeing a washing machine full of mixed up feelings tumbling round and round inside her. But Minako, still affected from this afternoon's events, was keeping her eyes downcast and still looked incredibly distressed. This appearance renewed Setsuna's resolve as she reminded herself why she was doing this in the first place.

"What is it?" Michiru prompted.

Setsuna took a rattled breath and swallowed hard. This was either going to go well, or really badly. It wasn't even the lesbian part of it that was the issue here. Various memories of incidents between the two groups of senshi began to resurface - particularly the ones involving the heart snatchers where, while both groups had been fighting for justice, their methods had been so different that the groups had almost fallen out with each other. Michiru and Haruka had seen the inners as weaklings, while the inners had called them cold and unforgiving. And while, on the outside, the groups got on for the most part, it was clear that they had their differences. Now Setsuna was about to admit to having bridged that gap, and had no idea if Michiru and Haruka would be okay with that.

"As you can tell, things have been really different recently," she began, "and I know that it's confused you. The thing is…Minako and I becoming so close happened by a lucky twist in the sands of time and was completely unplanned by either of us. So I apologize if I made you feel bad for seeming like I was suddenly putting her before you and Haruka, but a certain sequence of events opened up a deep trusting between the two of us."

"What events?" asked Michiru, who looked shocked.

"Well you already know I have depression." Setsuna felt awkward admitting it out loud, even to someone who already knew about it, but she ploughed on, reminding herself that this was for Minako's sake. "What you don't know is how that came about. It all started at the gates of time. For the past millennium my duty's been everything to me and I've never known anything else. To suddenly not have that was a shock to my system. When I tried to adapt to normal life I realized I didn't know how to live - I didn't have any reason to live, and this bothered me."

As Setsuna looked back on everything and related her tale to Michiru, she could feel herself welling up with emotion at everything that had happened. She paused for a moment, taking another deep breath to regain control as she feared she might start crying.

"Minako saved me from myself," she continued. "If it wasn't for her I might be dead by now."

Michiru gasped at the revelation. "You didn't…!"

Setsuna nodded her head sadly.

"I almost did. But I knew she wouldn't want that for me. I couldn't bring myself to destroy her like that."

Michiru almost looked indignant. "So yet again you were thinking about her? Why Setsuna? Why is it always her?"

"Because I love her."

**A/N: Sooo…how will Michiru respond to this revelation? Oh and don't forget to R&R! **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Yes I know, it's been forever since I updated. I'm sorry guys, I've been on holiday okay? It's not easy being proactive on the other side of the world! Anyhow, if you're still following the story after all this time, here's the next chapter (finally). This was a toughie to write so I hope you enjoy it and please R&R!**

**Chapter 20**

Barely a second passed before Michiru turned around and stormed from her spot and disappeared upstairs, slamming her bedroom door behind her. In a state of shock Setsuna didn't move but stood there trying to take in her reaction. Then she heard the faint sound of melancholic violin music coming from Michiru's bedroom.

Minako was crying outright. Setsuna felt a wave of guilt followed by concern as she sympathized with Minako's tough situation. When she had first fallen into depression, she had felt lonely, as though there was no one she could confide in, no one she could trust even in the slightest bit. It had been as if the whole world was against her, and that's probably how Minako felt right now - like no one, not one person, was on her side. Well except Setsuna herself, but she was so delicate that Minako ended up being the one taking care of _her, _she thought morosely.

"Let's get you upstairs to my bedroom," she suggested, trying to keep her voice steady, but even she could hear how shaken she sounded. But if all was hell right now they might at least be doing something practical to distract themselves from the awful day they'd had so far. Minako agreed and followed Setsuna, limping slowly up the stairs on her crutches, her face masked with a frown as she both concentrated on climbing the stairs and mourned the day's events.

Minako didn't so much put down her crutches as drop them onto the floor before collapsing onto Setsuna's bed and sobbing into the pillow. Her golden hair just covered her face so Setsuna couldn't quite see it - didn't want to see it anyway because her sorrowful expression would only serve to make her feel worse. The sight of the once bubbly and witty Minako lying there looking so broken and defeated caused her heart to break and she was once again reminded that all of this was her fault - that if it wasn't for her actions and indulgences, Minako wouldn't be in this situation to begin with.

"I'm sorry," she choked, her own voice breaking. She, too, was free to mourn now that it was just the two of them and silent tears begun to wet her face as she regretted taking the chance to be close to be close to Minako. It was as she had feared: all she'd done was hurt the love senshi. Perhaps she really was destined for loneliness because the pain of this forbidden romance as well as all her other pain just wasn't worth it.

This time Minako did not reply with her comforting words about how it wasn't Setsuna's fault and Setsuna found herself giving into the fact that now even Minako blamed her for everything. _I should just go back to the gates of time, _she thought, _since apparently everyone would be happier without me around._

It was true, she thought - Minako's parents would be ecstatic that her lesbian lover was out of the picture and the other senshi wouldn't have to worry about problems caused by their their inner-outer romance.

Looking at the broken girl in front of her, she wasn't quite sure what to do next. She should probably climb up onto the bed and lie next to her and hold her and tell her that they would get through this. However, on the basis that it would be hypocritical because she was the source of the problems themselves, she did no such thing, but stood there frozen in the doorway regretting every step she'd ever taken to try and embrace normality.

At some point she realized the background sounds had faded into silence as Michiru's violin playing had ceased. Deciding there wasn't much more she could do for Minako at the moment, Setsuna reluctantly left her room and went to Michiru's, hesitating outside the door before faintly knocking it.

Michiru stepped out, her eyes lowered, her expression unreadable.

If Setsuna had been a different kind of person she might have started defending herself, but being the introvert that she was, she stood there and waited for Michiru to yell, scream, cry, whatever it was she was about to do. She deserved it anyway for all the crap she'd imposed on her girlfriend.

But Michiru did no yell or scream or cry. She straightened up, raised her head and looked directly into Setsuna's eyes.

"I know what it is to not be accepted," she said. "I did promise I would try to accept Minako's role in all this so I guess I will have to live up to that. But I will have to tell Haruka and she might not be as okay with it as I am. Let me tell you now that this isn't because Haruka hates her because that's so far from the truth, but Haruka feels very strongly about the differences between us and Minako's lot and this is the first time that bridge has been crossed."

Setsuna allowed a weak smile. If Michiru was willing to try, then at least that was one small obstacle that had successfully been overcome - finally some good news for Minako. Or was it good news for her because it was one less thing to feel guilty about?

_I failed, _she thought, _badly._

"What was that?" said Michiru and Setsuna realized she'd spoken out loud.

"It doesn't matter," she replied, but it was a lie, it did matter to her.

"You didn't fail," Michiru replied. "It is Haruka and I who are the failures. We judged both you and her far too quickly despite knowing how it is to be judged."

"But she's hurting because of me!" Setsuna argued before she knew what had come out of her mouth. "She's hurting because I couldn't stop myself from wanting to be with her."

Michiru stared at her, wide-eyed and Setsuna remembered that Michiru hadn't yet found out about the situation with Minako's mother.

"W - what do you mean?" Michiru stammred.

_I mean her mother now hates her because I couldn't stop myself from loving her. Because I was so messed up that she practically ended up being my keeper, and then somehow, miraculously, she ended up falling in love with me._

She did not say this - no, she wasn't quite ready to be that outgoing yet. She simply said "Her mother walked in on us."

It was enough explanation to bring tears to Michiru's eyes. Even the outer senshi had heard stories of Minako's mother's temper.

**A/N: Ok I know, it was a shortie. But hey, it's something right? Look, I struggled with this one okay? Getting Michiru in character was haaarrrd, so please R&R!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: OH MY GOD IT'S BEEN SO LOOONG! :o Since I updated this, I mean. I'm SO SORRY GUYS, I feel like I failed you!**

**Um, I'm not really sure where the fic is going after this chapter – in all honesty this one sounds pretty conclusive already so I feel tempted to say that the fic is finished…but maybe I can afford one or two more chapters dealing more Minako's mother? Let me know what you think.**

**Also, a huge thanks to RadiantBeam for restoring my inspiration, which has enabled me to continue this fic.**

**Anyway, if you're still reading after all this time, THANK YOU! And on with the story!**

**Chapter 21**

The next few days brought about a tense and awkward atmosphere for the outer senshi and Minako. Haruka hadn't been outright angry, but that was only because Michiru hadn't let her. So the blonde was forced to act indifferent while harbouring the shock that there was so much that Setsuna had hidden from her, which she had told instead to someone considered distant to their group.

After a few days, Haruka's attitude became hard to bare. She outright ignored Minako and only spoke tersely to Setsuna when it was absolutely necessary.

Setsuna became fed up. Haruka was being, in her opinion, childish. However she didn't have any will to confront the tomboy. She was beginning to feel on the edge of things again.

_I deserve her anger,_ she thought, _for going behind her and Michiru's back like that._

Thoughts which, of course, caused Minako to realize that she was being broody again. Thus the blonde took matters into her own hands.

Minako had taken to sitting downstairs in the kitchen or living room as much as possible, because her crutches made it more difficult to climb stairs. She was reading a book in the living room when Haruka walked in, saw her, and turned around and left, slamming the door behind her.

In that single moment, Minako snapped. She got up, grabbed her crutches, and hopped as fast as she could on her working leg to the door to find Haruka.

She found the wind senshi sitting at the kitchen table, her hands curled into fists.

'Haruka Tenou!'

The name came out louder and harsher than intended, but Minako didn't care. Haruka's head snapped up, surprised.

'Minako-san.'

'I don't care what you think of my part in all this, but has it hit you how badly you're hurting Setsuna?' Minako yelled. Her hands gripped her crutches tightly and she realized she was trembling.

'She's our close friend. What are you doing interfering?' Haruka growled.

'Are you BLIND? We already explained our connection to you! We're not just vaguely acquainted anymore! And I get it. I'm an inner senshi and you lot think we're silly and weak and idealistic, and I know there's always been a bit of rivalry, but I thought that we were at least able to get along! Oh, and just for the record, because of your attitude, Setsuna is blaming _herself_ for this! She thinks it's her fault you're so angry towards us, and even worse, she thinks she deserves it! Has it hit you that you're pushing her back into the depression she's been trying so hard to get out of?'

Haruka winced and fell silent.

After the confrontation there was a vast improvement in their interaction. For a day or so Haruka brooded quietly by herself, but after that she went to Setsuna and spoke to her properly about everything. When they came out of Setsuna's room looking relatively comfortable each other, Minako couldn't help but smile. Things could only get better from hereon.

Around the same time, Minako stopped by at home to pick up her belongings, with Setsuna in tow to help her carry them. They didn't stay long, only long enough to see the pain and sadness in her mum's eyes before she turned away and closed the door.

After that, there was still one more matter to be taken care of. Minako sent out a message to the senshi that she wanted to hold a meeting at the Hikawa jinja.

'I want to explain everything,' she said. 'I know that you've all been confused by my behaviour recently.'

After school that day she met with Setsuna and hobbled up the stairs to the jinja, still bound to her crutches. On their arrival, they found Makoto watching them curiously, while Rei had a suspicious look in her eyes. Soon everyone had arrived and Minako called everyone to attention.

'Hey guys,' she greeted, though not in her usual chirpy tone. 'So I wanted to explain...'

'I love her.'

Everyone looked up at Setsuna's interruption. The silence was conspicuous.

Setsuna's hands were clenched together tightly, like she was praying hard about something. She glanced between the table and Minako, before her eyes finally landed on Rei, who was frowning.

'It's what you stand for, isn't it?'

'It is, but -'

'Then shouldn't that be enough for you?'

Rei was stunned into silence. Ami's eyes were firmly on Setsuna, her expression egging her on. The rest of the inner senshi were astounded by Setsuna's frankness. There was no mystery this time, just a plain and obvious statement.

'How?' Rei asked. _Fair enough.  
_  
This was the first time that Setsuna would tell the honest truth from start to finish, without shrouding it in cryptic statements and confusing riddles. And Kami-sama, she was terrified. But with Minako by her side, the girl who had protected her, and the girl she needed to protect, she was now absolutely certain that this needed to be done.

So the next hour was spent explaining how Minako's unique connection to Setsuna's emotions had saved the time senshi - no, Meiou Setsuna, the woman - from the demons which had haunted her ever since the end of Galaxia, and how the deep connection between them had developed into an insurmountable love for each other.

As Setsuna spoke, Minako watched the reactions of those who had only just found out about these events. Rei's jaw dropped in shock when Setsuna mentioned the bottle if pills which had almost cost her existence. Usagi's eyes were shining in both wonder and sadness.

Finally Setsuna finished speaking. For a while nobody knew what to say.

Then Rei spoke.

'I'm sorry,' she said breathlessly. 'I understand now. I shouldn't have been suspicious of you. Setsuna-san, you're right. We do stand for love and I should stick by that.'

'Thank you, Rei-san,' replied Setsuna. 'Your words mean a lot to me.'

'Setsuna-san,' said Usagi.

'Yes, Usagi- san?'

'Are you alright?'

Setsuna paused. It would be a long time before she was alright again. But glancing at Minako and the group of girls who surrounded her, she felt a warmth inside of her.

'It will be a long time before I can say that truthfully. But Minako will be there to make sure it never gets too bad again.'

As she concluded the statement, Minako grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

'Too right, I will be.'


End file.
